I started therapy a little over a year ago. She's specialised in trans people and she knew I am trans before we even met. I wrote a long ass document talking about my experience and what might have been signs.
Problem is: I don't see any progress at all. Idk how to open up. She tells me she doesn't want to force me but I told her I need her to give me a direction on what to talk about.
The reason I'm there is not because I want therapy (yes that would be good for me and I'll start seeing a psychologist soon). I'm just getting more and more desperate. I need to start T. I'm not living my life. I am putting everything in pause until I do because I can't see myself without it and I KNOW other people don't see me either.
Masters. Work. Even friendships. I'm avoiding starting all these until I feel ready and I won't be ready until I see myself.
Idk how to bring it up and I'm scared she will think I shouldn't get T.
How do I even start opening up to her? How do I start talking about something so personal with someone whose eyes are fixed on me?
(I was also told to think of a name for my parents and doctors to use and I'm a bit lost there too cuz I kinda don't like my country's names)