There’s no happiness without love and without sex nothing matters my life doesn’t really matter and being a woman I feel unneeded or wanted even though it’s not by choice I hate this life and I hate that he got cancer and that I no longer matter
I want too much. Desire too much. Miss too much. Just want to fuck tooooooooo much but with one man one love one person. No one gets it
It wasn’t like anything is ever super fun because without intimacy nothing really matters all that much. I am a woman who needs constant love and affection. My husband can’t do anything due to his medication. So it’s stupid to even try to act like we have a real relationship. We just wasted money to feel lonely somewhere else. On top of that our deep freezer lost power so now we lost everything. Now I have a shit tin of laundry to do and nothing I’m excited about ever. Fuck this life. It sucks being a passionate woman for nothing. There’s no joy or real happiness.
But as a HLF at 49 just turning 50 celebrating my birthday. It would have been a lot more fun by myself than with my husband. It’s a medical situation for him and he has no choice but it’s so boring having no sex in my life. It doesn’t feel like a vacation or celebration. I miss being happy and loved.
49 HLF married to 63 medically LLM I try to look forward to just laying in the sun looking up at the palm trees because if I think about anything else I will be sad. It’s been 3 years of hard times without the love and affection I miss. I guess I’m getting stronger somehow right? Hopefully it’s really beautiful and relaxing at least.