I am so lost in life it’s not even funny.
I don’t know who I am, what I like, or what my morals are anymore. I don’t think I’m a good person. I’m actually a disgrace to everyone around me. I have changed for the worst and I don’t even know where to even start so I can become myself again. I’m extremely scared since everyone in my life, which isn’t a lot, have all said things around the line of “this isn’t who you are.” and “why are you like this, where did you go?”
I constantly second guess myself and get so exhausted from all of my actions. When I get energy to do things I don’t feel satisfaction. Honestly I don’t even know if I have feelings anymore. I just get frustrated and exhausted now.
I can only sleep if I’m so exhausted I black out or if I’m high and a little buzzed. This makes me so mad since I was over 3 years sober and I’m not drinking as much as I used to but, I’m so disappointed in myself and I can’t stop.
I’m wasting my life.
I wish I would be able to start dental school asap but I still need to do some upgrading so I'll still have a few years until I start and this makes me so upset. I just want to start right now so I can be closer to my dream as a dentist.
I recently came out as bi sexual to my partner and a few people. Yet now I feel extremely confused and like anger towards myself. Maybe I’m trans or non-binary and I don’t know. Maybe I need to expand in the bedroom to fulfill this hole in me.
I’m so confused and I wish I could feel things again and be like myself a year or 2 ago. I don’t even know who I was back then and I forgot.
Sometimes I feel like I lost my memories or even not sure which ones are real or fake which really scares me.
Am I going insane and will this pass?