u/Aliennoshow — reddlx

How do I 20F set proper boundaries with my boyfriend 21M?

I 20F and my boyfriend 21M have been dating for about 5 months. He is my first relationship but she has had one before me. So backstory over, I want to have a conversation with my boyfriend this weekend about our attachment styles and what he expects in our relationship and what I expect.

I want to have this conversation because he seems to be a more touchy and almost clingy person. I don’t think this is a bad thing, and when we are hanging out at his place I quite like it. But I’m not like that, I’m a very independent person and always have been. It’s how my family has always been. We don’t show a lot of casual affection.

I don’t want it to seem like I’m criticizing him for this or anything cause as I said when we are alone it’s kinda sweet but when I’m at home and he’s calling me at 2:00am so we can fall asleep on the phone together and making a little to much contact in front of my family, making my parents a bit uncomfortable, and need to always know where I am in games so we can do everything together it just gets a little much. How do I set proper boundaries without making him feel bad and making sure I’m also compromising so he can get from me when he needs?

TLDR - How do I set boundaries with my partner that we both see as fair when he is more codependent then I am?

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u/Aliennoshow — 2 days ago

▲ 6 r/pleco

I made a post here previously about how I haven’t seen my plecos recently. I have an older yellow female bristlenose and an unsexed baby mix bristlenose. My girl has been coming out more recently and that makes me super happy. I think she just needed some time. But I still haven’t seen my baby. I took a video around my filter trying to see if I could see the baby and I can’t. I’m hoping he’s just coming out at night and hiding in one of my decor pieces during the day but he might not. The only thing that makes me think that he’s still alive is that I haven’t found a body and my ammonia has been stable.

I’m starting to get really worried and I’m looking into cameras I can get for my tank to see if they come out at night.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Pics of my girl and the baby and a pic of my tank. I’m hoping he’s hiding in the Kraken.

u/Aliennoshow — 9 days ago

▲ 5 r/pleco

How long is a normal amount of time it to not see your plecos. I have a baby and an adult brislenose. My adult loves the filter and heater. I have a sponge filter. I also put cucumber, zucchini, and bell pepper in the tank regularly as well as algae tablets and my normal feed. There is plenty of food and I recently upgraded to a bigger tank so the have plenty of space, many hiding spots, and tons of food.

Now my concern. I last saw my baby Sunday which doesn’t bother me to much. I would like to check on him and he is very beautiful so I would like to see him but he may just be one that likes to hide. That’s fine. But my adult is a year old and I used to see her in the front of the glass every night and she would flop around on the ground to get to the food most days. Not everyday cause she is very dedicated to her job of cleaning the filter lol. But if see her at least twice a week during the day and every night on the glass. But I haven’t seen her all week! I’ve seen a tail or a sliver of yellow around the filter so I know she’s alive but I’m worried she’s stressed about the move or isn’t getting enough to eat? Not happy about the new baby? Idk. It’s a planted tank and I’m about to put the pothos hangers in the new one. I used the same filter, let it cycle, and added artificial bacteria to make sure the move was safe. All the same plants and decor. It’s a bit more open cause the plants haven’t had time to fill the space yet. But when should I actually start getting worried? Is this normal and what I need to get used to it?

I added a picture of my new baby cause my old girl hates pictures lol. I swear she can recognize a camera.

u/Aliennoshow — 15 days ago