u/AlicorniaSuperSauce

I have this question in general, since I see it's pretty common, but I'll speak for myself. Why is it that I am the host and that I am the only one with the name I was given at birth? Everyone else has their own name. They either had their own name already or they had to choose their name because they didn't have one. Some have their own memories, gender, they're not all human, but why do I, the host, happen to be what I grew up with? I'm an alter too, so why am I most "original" to my past compared to the others?

I can see why some hosts don't see themselves as an alter, that they are an original, and I understand that there is no original and that hosts are alters to, but can we not deny that there are alters that are different to the point of having their own memories (by that I mean like having memories from way before any of us was born, they had their own partner, job, etc). I just want to understand why things are as they are.

While I have a long history with my system, I'm still new to learning what is ok and what isn't ok since I didn't really think to participate in DID places like this subreddit, and I've noticed a lot of things said that I never would've thought of, like the idea that if you are dating someone with DID, you're not dating just the alter, you're dating the whole system even if you and some of the alters aren't emotionally attracted to each other. It's just something I'd never thought of

I notice that whenever I or someone says "my alters" people say "they're not *your* alters, they are apart of you". I can see how saying "my alters" comes off as "my property" but people only comment "they're not your alters, you are an alter too" but I have yet to see anyone recommend what you can say instead

I say system now, but if I'm talking about a specific alter, I don't really know what I can use without saying "my". My brother, my family individual, my loved one, they all say "my" and I don't want to come off as "my property, they don't have any rights", but saying the alter, the brother, the protector, it feels less like they are apart of me, yknow? so what do you guys suggest?

Edit: I realized how strong saying "whenever" is, so I apologize for the exaggeration. This doesn't happen all of the time luckily!

I love my partner and my alters to death and would do anything to make them happy, but I don't know how to go about this. Lately my partner and my alters have been getting close and now they say they want to be in a relationship that involves romance and even sex at some point

I personally don't want them to date, I feel like if my partner crosses that boundary then they are cheating. I want what's best for my alters but I get jealous at the idea of them dating. They know I don't like the idea so they haven't been getting as close as they were getting and have remained friends, but I can tell it gets kinda awkward when they know they want each other more than just friends

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Yo yo, I'm somewhat in a relationship with someone I've known since middle school, I'm 23 now and my bf knows about my alters for years now. I say "somewhat" because we're dating and calling each other bf and gf but it's not rly official

So I have a question about alters and relationships. I have seen countless of times of comments talking about how it's important for systems to get to know the partner, and while they don't say they have to be in a romantic relationship with the partner, it's usually healthier if they have romantic feelings for each other, to be as close as they possibly can, but that if they can just be friends or even only have trust then it's fine, it's just a better sign if the alters and the singlet love each other, even romantically

I see it all the time, this is the only comment I found that says it is common that not every alter wants to date the singlet partner but it seems like everyone else has alters and singlets dating and being romantic with each other

Not that my alters don't want to date my bf or anything, we get the whole “your bf is dating all of your alters whether you want to accept it or not” but how exactly does it work? What's most common? What is healthiest? Why and/or why not?