I feel so alone like nobody understands how hard this is for me. If i dont feel isolated. I feel like people here are trying to harm me. Prob my OCD talking but its hard to trust people with this disorder. Especially when you are still struggling thru ERP.
I am hoping group therapy will be better & this is an online issue. I have nothing against any of you. I think i am just too sick now.
Even when i do accept that horrible events really could have happened in my past (Harm OCD here) I am reminded how im still on doing enough. Even if i cut off compulsions & feel i am doing better. It's still not good enough until i can fully accept panic attacks that make me dizzy & vomit.
This sub makes me feel very conflicted sometimes.
If you can get thru ERP fine. Congrats. But im just not fully there yet.
No Reassurance, Just wana see if anybody can relate
No offense to anybody in this Reddit but online help with OCD has not helped me at all. On Reddit or other apps. Anytime i try to strike up a convo i never get a chance to chat about my perspective.
I know we are all struggling but what is point of being here if you are just gonna talk about yourself & not try to relate or care for what other person is going thru. Arent we all in this together...
Then you have people on TikTok who make me feel like crap. They make ERP seem so easy & if you go thru with a compulsion then you are a failure...Maybe an over exageration but that is how it feels to me
I have so many bad thoughts that I have harmed thousands of people without realizing. It feels so real yet everything around me feels so.....Normal. I have never been on the news & people offline & online just going about their usual business.
Expsoure therapy is something my therapist wants me to try. Giving me a chance to possibly harm others without knowing. Crazy part is....i want to try