u/AlexDVon

Hello, whenever I say something to my mother that seems perfectly normal in tone to me, picking my words carefully to not annoy her, I always end up annoying her anyways because she claims "my face acts the opposite of my words", which I really don't understand what she means by this;
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Yesterday when we were walking to where we parked our car, we saw a lady in her mid-30s dressed in a white dress and high heels. It was obvious that she was going to an event or something, but my mum had the audacity to go on and say, "Wow, look at her; it's so obvious she is dumb," to me while we had just passed her... I didn't like the tone she used, so I asked, "Why would you say that?" and she went on explaining, "Oh, but when you are a certain age, you can understand people just by looking at their faces. She screams 'dumb', obviously someone 'man' would take advantage of, and it's clear as day." Like... I was pretty shocked at how she talked about someone she never met in a way like this... so I said, "Oh, I wouldn't dare to say stuff like this because in the back of my mind I always believe 'What if someone would say this stuff behind my back?' and it would've upset me, so I'd rather not say anything."
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Long story short, after I've said these, she went furious. She claimed I criticised her. How dare I do that? Even though I've kept saying, "I just shared my opinion on your opinion, which I found wrong," she kept yelling at me, claiming my words and my face did not match and I've acted as if I belittled her... which I swear I did not... I'm just confused.
I'm a late-diagnosed person, unfortunately, so my mother does not want to acknowledge my Asperger's (or struggles to do so, as she is around her 60s; it could be the reason, idk), so it's hard for me to really see what was wrong with my actions, as she always gets angry at my face and expressions...
Has anyone been told that their deeds do not match their words? Thanks in advance and sorry for the long text.