Why do I (F 39) feel so anxious when my boyfriend (M 39) who usually lives with me and my son goes to sleep at his old apartment? He says it helps us because this is how he regulates his emotions (he may have BPD with some NPD traits). In his apartment there are 2 other guys each with their own room, but he also still has a room there.
I feel such anxiety when he does that that last time I wanted to take a sleeping pill because I couldn't handle my heart beating out of my chest and my bodily (awful) sensations like my stomach feeling like it's burning.
He used to leave only when we argued and I asked him to please don't do that. And he actually didn't do it anymore as a way to "punish" me when angry.
I told him to come home at night when he goes out and he doesn't seem to see that as reasonable either.
If I am in the wrong for being so anxious, how do I fix this? Anybody feeling like this? If so, any therapist recommendation, maybe?
Thanks! ❤️🙏
Tl:dr
Why do I feel so anxious when my BPD/NPD boyfriend who usually lives with me goes to sleep at his old apartment?