What does 'acceptance' of parenthood/lack of freedom mean to you?
TLDR; Which losses of freedom from parenthood should be accepted? And which are unnecessary burdens we place on ourselves?
Father of a nearly 2 year old here who has had a really hard time mentally adjusting to the lack of freedom that parenting brings. I’ve always been pretty keen on things that are apparently ‘bad taste’ for a 30+ year old (partying, travelling, meeting new people etc…) [according to some…].
I see a lot of advice on Reddit and other places online that the way to deal with the mental health problems parenting brings is to just accept the change. However, to me it doesn’t feel like pure acceptance is always justified. For example, in Western countries, historically women were often just told to accept that they were the primary care giver as “that’s how the world works” (this is obviously an unfair example in my case as I’m the father…). The fact that people didn’t just accept how things were and pushed for change has led to much more freedom for women to make a choice on the matter.
My question is, as a parent, what are the things that we DON’T actually have to “just accept”? There’s obviously some base level of work and care required, however, the naive optimist in me would like to see examples of where parenting didn’t just lead to a life of suburban drudgery. Maybe the lesson from the “you don’t miss it until you’ve gone” moment I’ve had is about how valuable your time is. Surely some people have figured this out and really ‘made the most of’ the time you do get to choose what you’re doing?
It would be curious to hear any stories of those who’ve managed to see benefit in their life in general rather than just from the positives that interacting with children gives. Luckily my son is a legend but it’s still tricky to know what to do with everything else that I’ve got interested in over the years.