this girl i like is probably aroace and idk what to do
she’s in our theatre department and boy did i have a funny first impression of her. jumping screaming everything, wasn’t close to her for the first few weeks, and frankly she seemed like that quick sibling you have.
fast forward a few weeks and i catch myself talking to her during lunch. i didn’t know much of her, but she randomly asked for hugs from me and when i gave them i didn’t feel much, just a little friendly hug.
then we started our spring production. we merged classes, and i think this is where it started. seeing her in class with all her energy and enthusiasm, and the sharp contrast from when she was designing and drawing stuff for theatre, i was so interested in her, not just in dating but what she was doing, i kept asking and found myself wanting to know more about her
found out she wanted to take up an artist side gig, she wanted to do theatre in college, she was into stranger things and she was just a bundle of energy.
next thing i know i’m talking to her one on one about theatre, classes next year, and just stuff in general. the conversation flowed so smoothly, i didn’t feel the need to stop talking or to make it less awkward. keep in mind i’ve never felt this way with a girl before, i was instantly drawn to her. i knew i wanted to pursue something with her, her energy and enthusiasm and her overall demeanour was something i found comfort in.
then, i asked her friends what ishiul do if i liked her,. i knew i had to just talk as if everything was normal and just get closer and i found out from her close friend that she was probably aroace
i heard this and i was just like, thats why all of the hugs were there and why she was having all the physical contact.
it doesn’t even hurt i just feel so empty like what
of course shes my friend and i’m going to keep it like fhay, but after i found this out, and how she probably won’t like me, i see her coming over and just hugging me, and when i say ive never felt more comfortable and sad at the same time, i just felt this feeling in my heart i’ll never be able to describe
i don’t know, i still like her, and still want to know more of her, i definitely am not as close as i could be to her but it just hurts
what do i do