AITA for not sleeping with my male friend?
I'm a 27 year old straight male, with two other male friends I consider close that are around the same age, lets call em Jake and Paul.
Jake and Paul live together in an appartment and I will often go there to visit. We play games, hang aorund and just chill. Jake is single but Paul sometimes has his girlfriend over
Recently, I had been at a small cookout with them, we all had a barbecue dinner outside. For this evening Jakes ex-girlfriend was invited, lets call her Sarah.
Sarah is 29 years old and a bit of a free spirit. She has strong opinions about the patriarchy and is an outspoken feminist. She's Jakes ex, and I had never met her before this evening. She had stayed at Jake and Pauls appartment for a few days cause she had some things to do in our town.
After dinner was done we started to talk about relationsships. I have been single for some time, had my first long term relationsship when i was around 18, then in and out of short term relationsships. Im what some people call "outspoken". Anyway, we started talking about Paul and his girlfriend and how things were going, and then the conversation just went somewhere else, where i would start talking about my feelings about relationsships. Something like.
Me: Im just tired of being alone you know? Sometimes it feels like I miss being with someone more than the sexual part. I mean if sex is good and all great, but honestly I kind of just miss sleeping close to someone, being the bigger spoon, holding someone and feel the connection between the two of you, you know?
Paul, without missing a beat: I can sleep with ya if you want?
Here's where I might be the asshole. Not sure how to feel about it I kinda giggled at it first, then got serious and said "thanks man, I appreciate the offer its just not quite what I meant"
Paul is as far as I know a straight man. I gladly give him hugs and even a kiss on the cheek but sharing that kind of personal space with a male friend would make me feel uncomfortable.
Later during the next week, i called my friend Jake and asked if they would like to hang out but Jake then told me that Sarah is still there and she is pissed at me, thinking I was awful for shooting down my friend Paul who were willing to "sleep with me" and that I should probably not come over until she had moved out of their appartment, cause she dont want to meet me anymore.
I was surprised and felt a bit attacked by Sarah.
Not proud of this, but I told Jake that I thought Sarah should mind her own buisness and tell me who I should want to "sleep" with. The call didnt end great, it felt like Jake was sort of forced into the situation and had to pick a side.
Was my reaction out of place when Paul offered to share bed with me?
Was the reaction worthy of being "banned" from my friends appartment by Sarah?
Im mad at the situation and feel treated unfairly, granted I probably could have handled my friends proposition better but I was just surprised.
Does it make me the asshole?