I feel stuck, hurt, and alone - I need some advice...
So, I (Male, 20) and my fiancée (Female, 19) have been dating for 3 years and are getting married in the next 3 months. Some issues and bad habits have started to arise, and I genuinely feel so stuck...
We have been getting into arguments recently, and I have felt so unheard that I can't breathe. She takes so much of what I say as an insult or that I think she is some horrible person. Let me give you an example: today I said that after an argument, I want to talk to a counselor or somebody so I can tell them about how I feel and how to navigate what's going on. Instead of being supportive, she immediately said, "So you can go to someone, but I can't." I didn't say she couldn't go to anyone. Literally nowhere, not even really possible for misinterpretation. Then I proceeded to tell her that I never said she couldn't, and then she said, "Fine, go tell the whole world how much of a bitch I am." I'm not sure how to respond to what she said. I am just in complete and utter shock. For more context, we do not cuss at each other nor do we call each other names, so when things like this get said, it strikes hard. On top of this, I feel that when she misinterprets what I say as negative, I can't explain what I am actually saying.
When we are in the heat of it, I also notice that when we are arguing, it feels like it's her against me instead of us together against the issue. Whenever I do not like the way that she worded something, I tell her that and let her know an alternative option we can try, but she starts saying things like, "Well, this isn't gonna work either, just like the hundreds of other times you told me to say something else." It's in these moments that I am in shock, I'm numb, there's no way she would say something like that. I have no idea where this is coming from, and I feel so hurt. I've also noticed that a lot of what I come to her about gets turned around on me in some way; most of the time, it's "Well, you do the same thing to me," or she talks about how she's been bottling up the same emotions. Which is bonkers to me because why don't you tell me what you have a problem with, and I will fix it??? Sometimes, when I come to her about something I am not okay with, she starts bringing up all these things I recently did wrong, like not choosing the options she voluntarily gave me because I decided to go with something else I liked. Not to mention how mean she can get, tone-wise and sarcastically. I am just in shock when that happens too.
One thing that bothers me to my core is when she will come up to me and say something like, "I feel like you are *insert negative characteristics*" Like what the hell, you can't state your feelings as something that I am or am thinking, that's not fair. So, I'm put in a situation where I am trying to prove a negative, which is impossible. I audibly get upset when she does this, then she shuts down and says, "I can never talk about my feelings." Then I try to explain to her that you can't bring it up in an accusatory way that makes me have to prove a negative. She then says that she will keep it in from now on instead because she "can't talk about her feelings".
Obviously, there are more details, but this is the gist of my situation. I feel so hurt, stuck alone. I feel in shock that this is happening; this never used to be a thing. I don't want to feel like I am going crazy. Can someone please give me advice on how to go about this?
P.S. We are Christian and I am more than happy to hear any biblical advice that you may have. Also, keep in mind that what I am telling you isn't her full character. There are always two sides to the story. I need help on what I can do on my end.