I’m 23F, just freshly graduated, and I’ve been given a really good opportunity by my family to go to Germany. I live in Southeast Asia, so obviously Germany offers better opportunities on paper. But when I was there last time, I didn’t enjoy it, the environment, the feeling, it just wasn’t for me.
The thing is, I don’t even see clear job opportunities for myself there. I’m interested in tourism and international work, something where I can meet people and actually feel alive. I did an internship as a receptionist in a hostel in my country, and I genuinely loved it. I liked talking to new people, making connections, and using my English. It felt natural to me. But my parents say that’s not what a “real job” looks like. They say it’s different, and I get that they mean well. They want me to have stability and a better salary. My relatives don’t understand either. They think I should just be grateful for the opportunity because I’m lucky to have support, but only if I choose the path they want (Germany).
All these years in university, I’ve been trying to make them proud. I studied German because they believed it was better than what I actually liked (fashion, movies, graphic design, English). Things I’m genuinely good at. I’ve been trying to fit into their idea of a safe path.
By the end of my third year, I told them I wanted to drop out because a degree in German felt useless to me. I don’t want to be a translator or a teacher, and I feel like I have zero real career skills.
My relatives (who sponsor me) said I “wasted their money” and made it seem like they forced me even though I told them before enrolling that I didn’t want this.
My dad cried and begged me to finish, so I did. I get that they just want me to have a degree. After that, I asked for one thing: one year after graduation to figure myself out and breathe a little. They ignored it completely.
Now I’m stuck wondering, am I being stubborn? Or just spoiled? I just feel guilty because they supported me financially through this degree, and choosing myself now feels like I’m letting them down probably (asian family thing). It feels like I have to choose between myself and disappointing my family, or making them proud but regretting not choosing what actually makes me feel alive.