i’ve (26) been diagnosed about 3 years now and would’ve thought i’ve been managing everything well. also have pcos but i have been at a healthy weight and tsh for over a year now.
ive been in grad school for the last 2 which has obviously come with a lot of stress and probably the source of some inflammation, but i decided this year i was gonna take a step back and make sure i was staying on top of taking care of my health.
a couple weeks ago i would have said i was in the best health of my life. then suddenly this week ive had a huge flare up that is causing insane joint issues where i can barely bend my knee, let alone go to campus or really focus enough to get work done. i’ve read about how cutting out gluten can help with the joint pain, which i’ve already started to do, but i’m just feeling defeated. i know many people have it much worse but i just feel so down on myself for this at this point. i’ve been trying sooooo hard to be on top of things and it still isn’t enough.
now i’m behind in school aaaaand still feel like shit, and even worse now .
it’s not even been a matter of comparing myself to my healthy peers around me, but just been comparing myself to who i used to be and what i used to be able to accomplish has been so difficult and taxing on me. i’m just feeling so defeated by this. joint pain is just making every single thing harder and i know i can treat it and manage it but im just so tired of doing that at this age!!! getting through the graduate school and a thesis which is beyond hard enough just feels out right impossible now i can’t lie. and i dont want to have this mindset or be so hopeless but im just so tired.
my advisor is aware of some issues, but i am soooo good at faking being okay most of my friends dont even know i have these issues. i dont want to be the person always complaining about being in pain but it has turned me into the person that is always hiding being in pain and that sucks too. i crave being understood better by everyone around me, like my professors, but i dont want peoples pity or to sound like im complaining. it’s making me feel insane and just like a baby for this being so hard
towards the end of the semester i got into a really good routine of working out and getting work done that helped me immensely, but i think the amount of pressure on my knees is contributing to my joint pain now so just feeling even scared to pick that up again once the major pain passes. on top of it all, i have pretty bad adhd that i feel like it harder to manage when im in a flare up. just more brain fog and everything doesn’t help anythinggggg and its cyclical kinda. more frustrated, more stress, more inflammation…….
any words of support or wisdom about how soon the joint pain my leave or if anyone else suffered through grad school with these issues would be so appreciated.
tldr: new flare up causing intense joint pain and feeling helpless for school progress. is grad school even possible and how do i manage it