My (24M) girlfriend (24F) of 7 months never initiates sex, only invites me over every 2 weeks, and won’t say my name
we’ve been together 7 months and it’s the first real relationship for both of us. She’s a nurse with long shifts so she’s always exhausted. We’re both Persian but fluent in English. I really love her — she’s great, she’s also my best friend, and emotionally she’s very straightforward/masculine, which I actually like.
The problems started once we became sexually active. She takes some kind of hormonal medication that has basically killed her libido. She never initiates sex or flirts sexually. She only wants to have sex when I come over to her new place, and she only invites me for a sleepover once every two weeks. That’s when we have a lot of sex, but it’s not enough for me. I often feel like she’s only doing it because I want it, not because she actually desires me. That thought makes me super anxious and makes me feel like a pushover.
I’m also the only one putting in emotional effort. I’m always the one starting conversations about how we feel and trying to keep the relationship healthy. She grew up with strict parents who were always working, so she’s extremely independent and protective of her private space. When I told her it makes me sad that she doesn’t invite me over more (even when I’m tired, being with her would make me feel better), she just said she really values her alone time but then now invites me once every two week.
Another thing that’s been bothering me lately: she refuses to call me by my actual name. She says it makes her cringe. She only uses names like “darling,” “hon,” etc. It makes me feel weird and disconnected, like she’s keeping a little emotional distance.
We both knew from the start that the relationship has an expiry date — in about two years we’re immigrating to different countries — so maybe that’s why she’s holding back.
I feel like I’ve become a more joyful and open version of myself in this relationship, but she’s stayed exactly the same. Sometimes I worry she doesn’t love me enough or just doesn’t have the capacity for more closeness. At the same time I know this is new for her too, so I’m trying to be patient.also she's a bit overweight and has confidence issues.
Am I being unreasonable or too needy? Is this typical for someone in their very first relationship who’s naturally super independent? Or are these signs she’s not that invested and I should protect myself more?
Any honest advice would be really appreciated.
TL;DR:
First relationship for both (7 months). Nurse GF takes some kind of hormone that killed her libido (no initiation/flirting), only invites me over every 2 weeks for sex, extremely values her private space, won’t say my real name (says it cringes her), and I do almost all the emotional work. I feel anxious, undesired, and like the relationship is one-sided even though I love her. We also have a built-in 2-year expiry date. Is this normal “learning curve” stuff or should I be worried?