u/Agile_Technician256

Today my mom came to visit, we roamed around the city and at night i dropped her at the bus stop. She had huge luggage with her, and i dropped her off at the wrong stop without realising and i didn't feel bad until she complained. What hurt me is i am so used to being neglected and shabby that this feels completely normal to me. Like i was wondering why doesn't she carry luggage and walk a bit (ofcourse she did) but had i been a better person things would have ended on ahappy note. This made me realise how lonely i am that i dont know basics and complicate stuff

First of all dont judge me, i just want to get this off my chest. So i come from a pretty traditional family, my grandfather and all males in my maternal side are pandits. My parents were never so traditional but i grew up around my grandparents who don't even eat onion and garlic. Altho i do not buy into such stuff, my grandmother is doing some vrat cus she believes i am not foing well. She's doing it very religiously nishta , and i appreciate that cus my own mom never gave a single fuck about my life. I on the other hand went to a restaurant for lunch to eat junk food and just came back smoking (my family doesn't know i smole) i am trying to quit, but i am unable to and feeling so bad. I feel like crying i am not in best terms with my family but they didn't deserve me. I feel bad for being born

I flashed myself in 12th and shared noods with face visible on internet. Its been 3 years , i dont think anyone irl knows but its a very embarrassing thing for me. Feel like dying everytime i get reminded of myself. What a stupid creature i am. I feel like i am born dirty