catching DL
hi, so i have a really good friend of mine but i get the feeling that he‘s dl and maybe in love with me and like i think i like him too but idk tbh. (disclaimer: i dont want to hear any lecture about like „leave him“ „hes an a-hole“ „you‘ll destroy yourself“ none of that i just want to hear yalls experiences or advice i guess, tysm)
[EDIT: i forgot to mention we‘re both muslim and i think he has internalized homophobia, and like doesnt want to accept it. im more open with it]
okay so im bisexual but im not out of the closet (except like 2-3 friends) and he doesnt know. but the way he treats me, questions some things in me. i‘ve known him for 2-3 years and he‘s only opened up to me, and we have a lot of deeptalks. and like 1 week he‘s the sweetes „friend“ but the next week he‘s the driest person alive. but only towards me. with any other male friend he is „normal“. he cant even go out with me just to hang cause he gets a stomache ache before the hangout (weird i know) and he is scared to become like me. he says its because i smoke and do things he doesnt think are worth the time but i dont believe him. i think its because he thinks if we hang out other people will think he‘s gay/bi aswell (i got bullied in school because everyone was like youre definetly gay etc and bullied me). but over text its like we‘re in a relationship. just a few weeks ago i asked him why i‘m the only person he opened/opens up to and he was like „i dont know, i think it just happened?“ and i was like „but because you chose to or because it happened in the moment?“ and he was like „i must‘ve chosen it or else we wouldnt be here“. then i asked „do you still chose it today“ and he said „every single day (and then like german slang for buddy)“. i mean its kind of weird because its only regarding me and not anyone else. anyways, then i was wondering and asked him „then i dont understand why you‘re scared to become like me or cant hang out with me“ and every single time he answers the same: „i cant answer that“ (because apparently he doesn’t know). and a few days ago we were calling (doesnt happen like ever?) and a friend of mine texted me and i wanted to test something to ser if he gets jealous i was line „omg my shayla he‘s like the sweetest“ and he wanted to say something and i was like: „hold up i cant text and speak at the same time“ and he got like jealous (his tone shifted from normal to jealous) „i can go to sleep you know“. and the next day we called again and this time i pretended to be jealous and he like didnt think it was weird or didnt get defensive like „were not in a relationship“ he accepted it as if we were in a relationship. i mean i can tell yall a lot of stuff that happened but this is the newest tea.
thanks in advance