Advice | seeing couples making me feel sad. || I LIKE being alone though
it indeed makes me feel sad, I personally don't know if that is narcissistic and I am extremely terrified if that is narcissistic, and I am just seeing couples everywhere and I don't have a girl by my side, everyone gets a girlfriend or boyfriend, the majority of people, and people like me don't really have a partner their age (I am 22 years old though) and it just pains me seeing my peers having a person by their side and I just remain with left-over thoughts of 'why I can't be like this' and I start to compare myself (that is my ego thingy going on here) - am I too ugly for them (that is not true, I am aware of that, we are all in the image of God), am I not normal and God keeps me away from others to not hurt them and I can't accept it partially, am I meant to be alone in this lifetime and not having a partner, it really troubles me.
Also weirdly when I fall in love with someone, they do not like me... which is weird honestly.
I sometimes want I could not see couples like... um... not seeing them I do not hate them or something, I really love the love they share etcetera, but then the thoughts kick in, and I am left with terrible feelings for me. I meant to not see them for myself so these feelings to not show up, because they make me feel really bad. Its kind of egoistical, but it pains me, and yeah. I meant to not see them personally. But I do not want this wish to happen, i really dont, I want to see them, I want them to show up and show me that love exists
What should I do, guys? What I am supposed to? What mindset to embrace? Is it normal to feel like that? Is it normal to feel pain from it?