u/Aggressive-Cloud-692

Sorry for the long post and I’m embarrassed to even post. My 33 F now fiancée 40 M have been together for 7 years on and off. He proposed days after I had just lost a family member and completely caught me off guard while I was still grieving. It was awkward for myself and my entire family to be fully happy in that moment as we were still processing our emotions. We have been engaged for 4 months. I thought being engaged would bring us closer and grow us but it’s almost worse. In the beginning, I felt like I was the only one truly trying and now I have backed off. A week ago I lost another family member and all he has been doing is complaining we have not been physical. Like seriously? He has not lost any family (thankfully). Needless to say, the wedding planning, I have put it on hold. Have you been in a relationship where you feel like the other cannot relate? Or just really doesn’t understand how you feel and what did you do? Since we’ve got engaged, I stated if we have kids I’d like them to go to private school in which he is against. Or he is unwilling to move from the city he grew up in because his whole family lives a stones throw away, meanwhile mine is a 30 minute commute. We spend 75% of our time with his family because he said mine “doesn’t do anything.” It’s almost isolating for me. I am starting to see our differences more now such as hobbies, interests, outlooks, and I don’t know what to do. If it wasn’t for going out for drinks and a good time I don’t know what we would do. Like if I want to stay home for the weekend, it’s a big deal because i don’t feel like going out. He is a good person with a kind heart and truly means well. His family is wonderful. He is close with my friends and family. I just feel as though there are so many differences between the two of us that many don’t see and I can’t find the common ground anymore. After my most recent loss i realized life is too short to be unhappy and made me look at life and the bigger picture and that’s kinda where I’m at. I shouldn’t feel this way and questioning things but I am and I don’t know if it’s nerves or a sign. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read.