We have been together for four years and have two kids together. I had to kids prior to relationship. I currently stay home with our only daughter and three boys. Kids are 8,4,3 and two months old. Most nights I stay up til 3 with somebody crying, fighting sleep or stay up with the baby. I’ve always done most diaper changes, every night feeding and all cooking, cleaning and laundry. My fiance seems to think he does his part by going to work and coming home to game for hours until he goes to bed. I have to wake him up everyday for work around 4am, which is a struggle because he sleeps very hard and that’s also why I’ve always done all night feedings with the two youngest kids. Most days I don’t get to bed until hours after midnight OR after he goes to work at four. I sleep till 10/11 then fight kids ALL DAY LONG. Boys are very wild and rambunctious 2/3 have severe adhd. If I ask for help he thinks it’s my mess cause it was done while I was “sitting around all day” which is not the case if yall have multiple kids especially toddlers AND a newborn it is not for the week. Our house is not spotless. Occasionally I leave the dishes for the next day or don’t immediately fold clothes and put off sweeping and mopping but general maintenance I do every day. I do all the shopping without him and with the kids. I go to all my drs appointments with the kids except the on because they don’t allow kids under one. This man has washed dishes TWICE in four years. If I leave him with the kids he’s calling me after twenty minutes frustrated and rushing me but he has the audacity to act like I’m replaceable and I get to stay laid up relaxing all day long. He lacks empathy, understanding and patience but expects me to be understand and patient while I feel like a single mom most days. He does pay all the bills and he does work hard. But there were several times I’ve also been the one working instead and I had to PAY OTHER PEOPLE to watch the kids because he couldn’t handle it. I also had to come home and STILL cook and clean when I was working. So aita for believing just because he works doesn’t mean he gets to slack at being a parent and a partner. Keep in mind we were supposed to be getting married this year and he told me I could leave when I told him I didn’t want to be in a marriage that lacked basic respect or human decency. I’m supposed to be his partner not his maid and free babysitter. ESPECIALLY not two months postpartum after having three surgeries.
Side note- I lay out this mans shoes and uniforms most days , I cook all his favorite meals and disregard my own food preferences, I rub his back every night and coddle him like a child, he doesn’t even know what size our kids wear in clothes, diapers or pull-ups, I get stuck being the mom, the maid, the therapist, the nurse, and the personal assistant. I’m extremely angry and offended by some back handed comments he made tonight about how easy my job was and how I should t need help.