My husband (25m) is a porn addict, he lied to me about it our whole relationship bc I put the boundary of no porn at the beginning of it.
I became aware of his lies six months ago, since then he has watched porn once (that I am aware of), I am inclined to believe he isn’t watching anymore bc he has an app tracker and we have sex almost daily and he can perform.
What’s breaking me down now is some weeks ago he told me he sometimes thought of other women giving blowjobs or “boobjobs” during sex to be able to stay hard and come. I have tried everything, I ask him about his desires, I give him oral, I try to do the physical part so he doesn’t get too tired, I initiate sex, etc.
So what worries me now is he might just not be attracted to me or he’s simply more attracted to these other women. Appearance wise I’m just a normal looking girl, I get hit on by men at clubs so I don’t really think I am that unfuckable. And if he’s really not sexually attracted to me, he’s kinda dumb bc we’re from different countries and he had to marry me and pay for most of my expenses for me to be with him.
He also said he thinks porn feels better than sex or handjobs, which also kind of broke me.
Now he says he no longer thinks of porn but I have no way of knowing whether that’s true or not, I can see that he comes more easily now but that doesn’t really mean anything to me.
So is it really just a porn addiction thing? Or could it be at his core he really just prefers porn?