The sex has been out the window for 3 years now. She wasn't dismissive when we first got together, and the reason she left her last relationship was a Deadbedroom (her ex was low libido to no libido) she gave her ex 10 months to turn things around and when it didn't, she left. So I asked her, what am I supposed to do? Per usual, dismissed and avoided. My feelings, my needs are dismissed and avoided. I almost always get "I'm sorry you feel that alway" so asked her if she is happy and I'm meeting all of her needs and she said yes. I asked her are you just happy masturbating, and having no sex? She replied I'm pretty content. And I said well I'm not. If what you are working through doesn't lead to a change for the next year or two then no thanks, you can find somewhere else to masturbate and be content.
I feel like it was harsh. But I'm just at my wits end bending over backwards giving it my everything.
Also, I forgot, she went into my phone the other night, to see if I had any dating or hookup apps, I was being off and quiet. I just said if you want to go through my phone, ask, I don't have anything to hide. What could she be worried about?