I really don't know what to do. This requires a lot of context.
Starting this off by saying I have gone to private catholic school my entire life, straight A student, etc etc.
As of this year, I'm having major doubts about going to the school I attend currently. A lot happened to me this year which has left me emotionally unwell at times. I attend therapy for my situational social anxiety & PTSD. What's difficult for me is that I've been told by every therapist that I'll always be developmentally ahead of my peers due to trauma, which hurts. I just want to feel normal, badly. And I am sometimes. But day to day I feel alone.
I started at my new (current) school 2/3 years ago; I had a rough middle school experience, like most people, which gave me trust issues with new friendships I desperately wanted. Living with a narcissistic parent also trained me to be too analytical of people in general. I found a group, and everything was pretty great. I thought I could finally feel safe and understood after 4 years of torment prior. And for a while, it was like that. Until this year, I noticed that they didn't really care for me similarly. They'd talk about parties/mall trips they went to in front of me, didn't let me talk during conversations, and just seemed to be closer together than they were with me (group of 5-6). The worst instance is when they were all invited to a before-dinner for a school dance and hadn't realized I wasn't invited or had gone to the dance.
Sometimes they're just unnecessarily mean to me as well. I'll talk for about 2 seconds and one of them will instantly tell me to shut up. Or, if I make one mistake, it's rubbed in my face constantly. They also don't notice my anxiety attacks or my getting left out.
In January, a classmate groped my ass in the middle of French class with 3 other witnesses. I kept quiet because she was sent to a mental ward a few days later for an unrelated matter. I figured she was doing mentally unwell generally. Fast forward to March, I learned this classmate had also sent RAPE threats to a mutual friend. I saw then this was a pattern, not an outlier, so she was reported between me and a separate friend. We reported her for groping me, but also said what had happened to the mutual friend. The mutual had deleted the texts of her getting threatened (I don't blame her, it's deeply traumatic) so that report wasn't further questioned. HOWEVER!! THREE PEOPLE VOUCHED that this classmate had groped me in class. And she is still here. Same admin won't get rid of a white student who said the n word.
Overall there's a lot more I could say, which I might if asked- but what do you think? Should I leave this school and try my luck with an online program or try to hold on?