AITA for not inviting a family member to my wedding that my mother wants to invite?
I (24F) got engaged to my fiancé (26M) a little over a year ago and pretty much started planning our wedding immediately after getting engaged. Our wedding is set for September of this year, and we have had our wedding guest list planned out for a little under a year now (I think around September of last year). For context, my sister (27F) got married about four years ago, and my mom paid for most of her wedding. She has offered to give me the same amount to me for my wedding, which is very generous and we accepted (who wouldn't?)
Well fast forward to yesterday when my mom and I were discussing the invite list for my bridal shower. We were listing off family members when she listed someone who I haven't talked to in about a year and before that hadn't talked to for I don't even know how long. I knew for 100% certainty that she was not on the guest list, because I decided that since I had a little extra money, I would have everyone's envelopes for their invitations printed and was double-checking correct addresses constantly. She told me that we for sure did. I checked my wedding guest list and, low and behold, she wasn't on there. She then says that we need to add her, which a year ago honestly would've been fine, but my fiancé and I were trying to limit our guest count to 200 and have already invited around 230 people. We would be paying for any extra people out of pocket which we have already budgeted out to other areas of our wedding. I asked my mom why I needed to invite her if we don't talk to each other, and her response was "well I talk to her and if I'm paying as much as I am for the wedding then I should be able to add whoever I want to MY guest list". She actually used the word "my", which set me off a little bit. I told her "well then I am paying you back for the wedding because while I appreciate your money as a gift, I don't want the details of the wedding to be transactional." She stayed quiet after this and we haven't talked about it since.
I do feel bad about what I said because it was mother's day, but am I overreacting? I am usually a procrastinator when it comes to planning and preparing things, but I have been so on top of planning most of the things for our wedding so much so that my mom and dad acknowledged it. There have been so many obstacles along the way that I've had to deal with and when she talked about how it was HER guest list, it made me feel like all the work that I have put into planning is nothing compared to her contribution, even though I am still paying for other parts of the wedding. And again, it wouldn't have mattered if she had asked me to add her before we finalized our list, but we have had to leave out people we talk to every week because we are limiting our guest list. Should I just suck it up and add my distant family member to the guest list? AITA?