I (35F) and my husband (37M) have been TTC for our first baby for 5 cycles now. I know that's not too long, but only 3 of those cycles I ovulated. My gyno says I have PCOS "light" because I still have my period but I don't always ovulate. And sometimes I don't complete a full cycle and just have a period on CD17-18. I started metformin and have been taking maca root so I finally had a good cycle this last one and I was remaining positive. I try to talk myself into "if I'm not pregnant, I can eat a bunch of sushi on my period" or "who wants a birthday during the holidays so maybe it's good if you aren't pregnant."
I'm DPO10 and BFN this morning on Premom test and FRER. I'm devastated. And mad at myself for actually getting my hopes up because I felt nauseous all day yesterday.
My husband is really supportive but he said to me today "you can't live and die every month through this."
I feel like I've been punched in the stomach because he's right. But he also doesn't get it. He doesn't understand all women have to do while men just have to wait to have sex for a few days then not think about it. I want a baby but I don't want to do this anymore...