Lesson learned:
An Alaskan-size bed is BIGGER than a California King!

Grabbed one from Vine in 2008 or 2009… and then discovered the nightmare of finding sheets and comforters. Good luck with that! They’re insanely expensive. At one point, I actually sewed together a California King fitted sheet with a Full-size sheet just to make one that fit.

Twice, I managed to get California King Mattress - just perfect and divorce cost me my beloved bed. (My ex took one and sold it. He was held in contempt by the judge — the first time. By the end of it all, he’d been held in contempt three times and eventually landed in jail.)

After the divorce, I downgraded to a Queen size and have gone through three mattresses over the years.

Lately, though?
I’ve somehow been getting a bunch of crib mattress or twin size!

HELLO, VINE GODS — I NEED A QUEEN-SIZE MATTRESS!

Went so far to book mark a half of dozen QUEEN and KING size mattresses, Bedding sets, in vain to attempt one to fall on my lap!

BACK IN THE OLD DAYS...

SELLERS/MANUFACTURERS did stuff ILLEGALLY!

A Vine Voice would often receive more than what was expected. Accessories/Attachments - BUT THEN THERE WAS THIS "LETTER" OR POST CARD included:

Some of my fondness memories lies with the cards and letters in regard to the product(s)!

______________________________

^(Hello!)

^(We hope you enjoy our product. We’ve also included additional accessories/attachments to complete the set. When leaving a review, please evaluate the entire package, including the included accessories/attachments.)

^(If you have any questions or concerns, please contact us at (email address or visit our website at (http address). We value your feedback and appreciate your honest review.))

^(If the product does not meet your expectations, please reach out to us at (another email address so we can help resolve the issue.))

^(Sincerely,)
^(PRODUCT Management Team)

__________________________________

Sometimes the writing would be "perfect" and sometimes it will NOT! Sometimes you had to decipher!

Yes, we've gotten threatening messages left for us!

Such as:

___________________________________

^(Hi! Enjoy product we give you. Free stuff also included. Keep you all of them! We not ask for return.)
^(Leave star 5 feedback please! If you don't we police call and report our stuff as stolen and locked up in jail you will!)

^(Maria (or some other fake name)**)
^(Production Project Supervisor)

_____________________________________

IN RARE CASES - The Seller also SHIPPED CASH, or COUPON CODES! Just to push for a 5 star flawless review (while I had never been the "lucky" ones to get cash, but I've gotten tons of codes)

___________________________________

^(Hello! Glad you got our product! The world's best! We also give you Amazon Codes: worth $75.00 [codes provided: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]. Leave 5 star review and 5 star feedback! If we find that you failed to leave a 5 star. We will report you to Amazon for stolen codes!)

^(Betsy)

OR

^(Hello, In the manual, you will find 3 - USD $100. Free to you, leave star 5 reviews! We no-tell Amazon, it's our secret!)

^(Product Manufacturer!)

_____________________________________

It were these letters that got many Vine Voices KICKED OUT and BANNED from Amazon and Amazon Vine!

While I know who this person is, he's long passed away. A Vine Voice, he wound up calling his local authorities. WHY? The RV Air Conditioner contained xx pounds of Marijuana! (Product came from Mexico)!

He did post the image of the letter and contents (But the Amazon Vine Admins -removed the links and claimed it was a "violation" of their policy.) and I was ONE of the few that actually saw it!

LETTER SAID:

^(Greetings, Neighbor!)

^(We are delighted to provide you with your new RV air conditioner. Installation instructions are included in English for your convenience. We have also extended the warranty from 5 years to 10 years!)

^(Before using the unit, please remove the back panel. Inside, you will find a few complimentary items we have included for you to enjoy. They are yours to keep!)

^(Thank you, and we hope you enjoy your new RV air conditioner.)

This was in regards to the USB - Type C charger which melted. Reported to Amazon and Vine CS, received a "thank you" for the alert. The product was no longer available. While I placed the one and only review with photos.

Got this message from the Seller (no worries - Reported!)

亲爱的 Vine 评论员：

你这个毫无眼光的业余评论员！害我失去了向所有人提供的性服务！我的电动产品性能远胜过你那篇像“燃气排泄物”一样糟糕的评论。愿毒龙的烈焰喷向美利坚合众国的每一个人！就因为那些恶心的色情照片，我正面临着蒙羞被解雇的下场！立刻把那些照片删掉！立刻撤回那篇举报！我付给你 100 美元！

Yanpen

But when I translate it - eh?

Dear Vine Reviewer:

You utterly clueless amateur reviewer! You’ve cost me the sex services I provide to everyone! The performance of my electric products far surpasses your review—which is as terrible as "gassy excrement." May the fiery breath of the Toxic Dragon be unleashed upon every single person in the United States of America! All because of those disgusting pornographic photos, I am now facing the humiliation of being fired! Delete those photos immediately! Retract that report right now! I’ll pay you $100!

Yanpen

Gassy Excrement? As in Diarrhea? My Chinese neighbor had moved away and I can't turn to them to translate it! I have no idea if that Seller was providing "sex services" (after all it was a USB C charger) and didn't know that USB C photographs were considered porn?

I am both Amused and Confused!