u/AgentRogerDale

I’ve been friends with this guy for about three years and for the first two years he was an amazing friend to me. He saved my life when I was desperately depressed and was there for me every day. When he was a teenager, he was into drugs and about a year ago he got back into them. I should mention though that he always was a good guy even as a kid and the only reason he got on drugs is because his mother is a psycho and started feeding him drugs when he was 12 years old. After a while, he realized how wrong it was and got himself all cleaned up. He is also bipolar. Because he is bipolar, and because he was there for me unconditionally when I needed him the most, I decided a long time ago that I would put up with his bipolar disorder and the way that he will occasionally go off on me sometimes almost violently (he’s never hit me but I can see he’s holding himself back) for no reason. But it’s getting worse. It happened yesterday because he was visiting me and he wanted to go to someone’s house to get high and he wanted me to pay for their drugs and I refused. He threw it in my face that I’m always willing to help him and do anything I can for him even though I’m pretty much broke and that’s the truth, I do that. Another thing is that he has a serious medical problem. He has epilepsy and no insurance and I’ve been doing without a lot of stuff for a while so I can pay for his monthly doctor visits and all of his medication. If he doesn’t have me then he will have no way to take care of that either. And again, like I said, I feel like I owe him and I should keep my promise to him to never abandon our friendship since he was there for me so much and also because he has a very limited amount of family members, and they are all very mentally ill and won’t have anything to do with him. I know the obvious answer is that I am not being an asshole for not allowing myself to be treated that way, but I really feel like he is my brother. As a matter of fact, my own little brother passed away during the time that he was there for me and he pretty much filled that hole in my heart. It’s killing me to think that I maybe shouldn’t take him back this time but I just don’t know if I can take it anymore. I always choose others above myself and I think that is what God wants me to do, but this is just so hard. I don’t want to let him go… But I just don’t know if I can take it anymore. Do I break my solemn vow to him to never abandon him? I told him once that he deserved to have someone in his life that he will know for a fact will never abandon him no matter what like his family did. I just don’t know what to do. This is killing me. AITA for feeling like maybe I should break my vow to him even though he has problems and I told him before that I would be understanding of that?