u/AgentCharming542

I’ve dealt with depression my whole life. I really wouldn’t even consider it depression but just my normal state of being. Anyway two years ago I found myself asking what am I holding on for? Do I really belive things will get better?(I’ve had severe mental health issues that led to self harming and attempts on my life made at 12 years old. I will be 31 in a few days and I’m still struggling) I really considered suicide but just thought what if it does get better? Well that was two years ago. A year ago I found myself again asking the same questions. What am I here for? So I researched methods and settled on one. I filled my cart with all the necessary supplies but backed out. I told myself just try for one more year. It has to get better. Well it’s been almost another year and again I’m asking myself once again why am I still here suffering? I can’t bear the thought of living through my 30s in this state of mind. I guess I’m just here to say I tried and I really gave it time. Some of us just don’t get better I guess.