These are a few of the things on my mind right now, and I just feel like ranting. I'm afraid of what people are going to say, but part of me just hopes this post finds the right people and not the wrong ones.
Discrimination exists In Morocco, by the way. There is discrimination towards black people, white people, and non-Muslims of any color. I don't want people anywhere to be discriminated against because that's unfair. Nobody chooses to be born Moroccan, nobody chooses to be any ethnicity, or where they are born. Discrimination obviously exists in any country but it's slightly different in Morocco because I feel like on the surface it's very, "Oh we love foreigners! They're so cool!" here, but that is really only a mirage much of the time.
I wish people would realize that comments they make generalizing people on the basis of their nationality or status as a foreigner are hurtful, and that we should all stop viewing each other as collectives. I've been screwed over many times by Moroccans in my 8 years here (too many stories to put here), yet I'm not going to comment to some Moroccan online or talk to them in real life like they are human garbage just because of what other Moroccans did to me. If anyone encounters terrible people who happen to be from my country, I should not have to take any blame for their behavior because I am not their mama and I didn't raise them. For anyone who has ever been discriminated against by someone, I sympathize with you and I declare wholeheartedly that they were wrong to do so.
It is not true that being a foreigner, in my case American, means Moroccan gays will just fall in love with you, either. On the surface, there may be some interest in the country of USA, in the idea of being there themselves, but digging deeper, many of them don't really appreciate American culture and think Americans as a whole are weird (or arrogant, or selfish, entitled, etc.) A lot of the interest in Americans comes from self-interest, people who see the American as a vehicle for their personal goals, rather than genuine interest in who they are as a person.
It is frustrating that coming from a place that people have preconceptions about, I haven't even done anything wrong and already I've got strikes against me just for being from where I am from. It's even a strike against me if I say something, if I acknowledge that I have feelings. It's like, "Oh shut up, go back to your castle with your first world problems."
People don't know that I have trauma, people don't know the things I've gone through. They don't know my whole life I have loved diversity and that is why I moved to NYC when I was 22, to be around different kinds of people. They don't know I freakin' MARRIED a gay Moroccan friend just so he could have immigration (K1 visa - met in Morocco, married after his arrival, divorced 3 years later). They don't know my kindness and generosity - how I've paid other people's rent when I was barely able to afford my own rent and food, while living paycheck to paycheck in rented basements or attics rather than the glamorous life people imagine we all have in USA. I'm not materialistic. I've never had a goddamn iPhone (nor do I want one) and the current phone I use is from 2020 and has many cracks on the screen. I have not been clothes shopping in maybe a year. Sure that's different than people who can't even afford bread, I know - but I'm saying, I'm not rich as the upper class in Morocco (after the exchange rate and cost of living differences), and in USA I only ever lived as lower class, which means my nationality does not equate to living like a king.
When I first moved to my apartment in Morocco I didn't even have hot water, I didn't have a refrigerator, I didn't have all my furniture, and it took me years to get those things because I am not wealthy and part of the reason I moved to Morocco is because I struggled financially following a sudden debilitating illness that started in 9 years ago. People don't realize that the life I left behind had to have been pretty lame for me to come to a country that is way more homophobic. My ex husband had his positive moments (when he wanted to) but we were not in love and he stole from me and sexually harassed me and only cared about himself (although I helped him get his driving lessons and his health insurance and repeatedly encouraged him as a new immigrant so that he could get on the right track). I've never had a good relationship in my life, and I'm almost 40, and some people think it's weird that they are... 20 and haven't had a boyfriend. Like what?!
I'm tired of people assuming I had a cushy/easy life or that I must be immune to hurtful comments, because I don't and I'm not. I just want people to remember that I'm human because I have always tried to do the same to others. If people can't empathize with someone else, they should just move on, instead of twisting the knife.