35M , stuck in a rut, doubts on what i want to do
Hi,
I just wanted to get this out.
I've had issues socialising all my life. I never fitted in. I never knew what I wanted. Small or big choices, i never knew.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a while back. Then, recently, with autism and more recently with persistent depressive disorder.
I go to a makerspace now, 3 mornings a week. I want to quit. Too much complicated interactions with other people there.
I don't want to take steps to get more active. I feel like it is easier to keep living this hermit lifestyle. I am bad at making choices. So deciding to start a euthenasia process is a choice I don't make. But deciding to continue life is also tricky. Will it ever bring a life i can enjoy? And will i ever know what i want?
I just wanted to rant on how shit this situation is.
What votes for me is that the autism diagnosis is new. I can learn to act on that differently. And for the persistent depressive disorder I'll also get some kind of treatment soon. Also I have friends family and doctors around me who are willing to help me. I just have to let them. Baby steps.
Anybody recognizes this situation? Any insightfull tips beyond the obvious ones? Anyone knows good excercises on how to find out what you want in life?