I feel more like a provider and parent than a husband
I’m a 28M and I’ve been with my wife since we were sophomores in high school. We have three great kids, live in a really nice suburb, and from the outside I know we probably look like we have it all together. I make good money, I’m well educated, and my wife is beautiful. On paper it should feel perfect.
But the reality is I’m exhausted. I feel like the weight of our whole life falls on me. I know being a mom is a full time job in its own right, and I do not want to downplay that, but I’m also working a demanding job, doing my MBA, and still feel like I come home and have to be the main parent too while she is out with friends, traveling with her mom, or off doing something else. She is in nursing school, but even there it feels like she does the bare minimum and I’m constantly having to push her, help her, or drag her through it. A lot of the time it feels less like I have a partner and more like I’m responsible for another person. Don’t get me started on the finances, bills, investments and overall adulting - that’s 100% on me.
I’ve grown a lot in the last few years and moved up quickly in my career. I think that forced me to mature faster, and now it feels like we’re on completely different wavelengths. I’m not saying I’m some uptight serious person, but I just cannot relate to the gossip, drama, and immature stuff she focuses on anymore (think Mormon housewives vibes lol). There’s barely any emotional connection between us now, and it’s started affecting how I feel physically too. She still tries to initiate sex pretty often, but I honestly feel resentful. That resentment has built to the point where I do not even feel drawn to her the way I used to.
Lately I’ve caught myself craving an emotional connection with someone else. Not even just sex, just feeling understood, having real conversation, feeling that spark again. I’m outgoing and have never had trouble talking to women, so I notice chemistry when it happens, and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about where that could lead.
Part of this is just me getting it off my chest. Part of it is looking for advice from people who have been here. Did you try to fix it, leave, or look elsewhere because you were too far gone already? Right now I honestly just want to talk to another adult and feel something again.