Hi, first time posting so sorry if it doesn't come across great.
My boyfriend (22M) and I (19F) have been together for just over a year now, and everything was great up until winter last year. We've moved past the initial rough spot, and are in a better place, but recently he's been going out after work until early hours of the morning at least 3 days a week, being secretive and not telling me what he's up to, and changing all of our plans last minute.
(He legit forgot our 1 year anniversary 🙏)
He got home at about 3am last night, drunk, and flopped into bed, passing out almost straight away. I grabbed his phone to plug it for him, and I saw a discord message from a girl I've never heard of. Opened it up to find messages dating back before we got together, but they'd been texting all night, from 11pm to 2:45am when he was in the taxi home. Fine, he's allowed to have friends. But more recently the messages have been flirty, shes complimenting his voice, asking if he's good at hugging and kissing, asking to meet him in person. He hasn't informed her that we're dating, which in my opinion would be the right thing to do. Instead he just goes with it, half playing off what she says and half flirting back.
I sent a message to her, just saying 'Hi this is (Bfs Name) girlfriend, he's home fine and asleep now. I'd appreciate if you'd stop flirting with him, I can see you didn't know he was in a relationship so no hard feelings.'. She was very apologetic, and explained that she wouldn't have been texting like that if she knew he was in a relationship.
But now I don't know how to confront him without causing strain on the relationship, or what to even say? Any advice would be great, thanks 😊