I’ve never had a girlfriend and when I went o college I knew I wanted to change that. I tried some dating apps but nothing worked. I start talking to this cute girl in my class and we hit it off. I asked her on a date and she accepted. Date went well it ended with my first kiss. About a week later she says she’s not ready to date because she got out of a long relationship and not to long ago. I understood but I was crushed. Later since we are in the same class she asked if we are still studying later and I accepted. We study at her place and we talk about our feelings and the night ends with a kiss. At that point we become a situationship. I want something more and she doesn’t know. So we mutually agree on after winter break she will decide. Before the break we go back and forth on the line between friends and something more than friends. One night she invited me over to stay the night with her and I accepted.
We both live in different cities but I have family in the city she lives in. At the start of the break I’m visiting family in her city and her birthday happens to line up when I’m visiting her. I asked to see her and she accepts. I make her a bouquet and we just sit and talk in my car for awhile. Before she leaves she kisses me on the check. During the break we are texting every day and things are going well. Then one day she ghosts me for the 3 days. Then, over text she ends it. She wants to be alone and focus on school and says we probably shouldn’t be friends. I wished her the best and we stopped talking. We were in the same class the following semester but we never spoke. During this time I had a lot of anxiety about her and everything.
3 months go by and I have to talk to her so I did. She agrees and we talk about what happened. We both had a lot of anxiety about coming back. She said she didn’t feel a relationship would work because she felt like she “dimmed my shine”. I asked her if she’s over me and she said she doesn’t know. In that moment I told her I still liked her but I think I was just saying that. She asked if I wanted to be friends and I said what do you want and she replied with “I don’t know”. Later in the week I texted her if she wanted to go dancing because we both liked dancing and when she said “not really” I knew it was over. A couple of days pass and I don’t talk to her but her friends reach out to me and basically say “it’s best if yall aren’t even friends. Yall had an unhealthy relationship”. This part I’m not proud of but I blew up their DM’s asking, begging if there was anything I could do to get her back and they just said it’s over. Fast forward a couple of weeks we don’t talk but we show up to the same study group and at first it’s awkward but things lighten up. After it ended I went home and cried. I’ve tried talking and meeting other women but so far nothing has happened
Dinner: Bananas and cream protein shake