God like where do I even begin?
Sorry if this isn’t the content that belongs here, idk and I might delete it.
I met a guy when I was 21/22ish? So 13ish years ago. We were at my bar, his friend started hitting on me but it was *him* who remembered my name and added me on Facebook and we started chatting. He seemed normal and we started going on dates. At some point, it sort of fizzled out romantically but we agreed to be friends, so we became friends. Of course we would still go on “dates”, but it seemed like we were just having fun and getting to know each other. He would tell me about his family, I had met his brother, he would voice his frustrations about work and how there was a lot of weight on his shoulders to talk over at the CEO at some point. And I listened, I did want him to know I cared and I wasn’t just in his life because of his family’s wealth and connection, and part of me believed that’s why he would be open about that stuff and why eventually a couple years back he told me he had been in love with me for years and wanted to really pursue US as a really serious couple. I was hesitant, told him I was willing but if we were to actually be together- that would be compromising our friendship and whatever we had and it was an end all, we couldn’t just date, it would have to lead to marriage. He agreed but he saw a future with us.
The thing with him, I always felt like he hadn’t completely shown himself to me, like he was still holding back. Again, with his family, I get he had to be on his guard but we had known each other how long? We had both been in relationships and gotten out of them, and yet we were still there to vent, etc. he had met my family, he was there for me when my mom was dying and I went over to his to cry. Regardless, it felt like he wasn’t being completely sincere with me about something and I sort of pulled back, especially when my mom actually passed. I would still reach out and because his mom died, he related. Last year, he kind of became really obsessed with me and getting my attention, he pointed out that it seemed like I was avoiding him(I was and tbh, yeah I should’ve been upfront with him), he would bombard my phone with texts of how in love with me he was, that he couldn’t live life with me and he wanted to be my man. Phone calls at 3am, nonstop. Even up to recently he was doing this, visited me at work, tell me when he was back from his work trip that he needed to see me.
And then this weekend I get a text that I woke up to
“Hi, this is assholes wife, I found your guys’ texts and I want to ask you some questions yada yada”. Then a follow up text from her phone explaining that they’ve been dating for 10 years, legally married for one year and next month is their reception is being held. My mind was blown. In my head, because I was so lax and in doubt about even being with him, I thought yeah I’m sure he might be going on dates here and there, but he also traveled a lot and for months at a time for work. Sending me photos and saying he wished I was there. Nope, he was with his fucking gf/wife/fiance whatever the fuck. I had no idea, because she lived in a different fucking country.
Apparently he was a serial cheater, she was shocked when I showed her evidence of how he claimed to want to be with me and in love with me. She showed me texts that another woman sent her of him apologizing to her for leading her on. She sent me photos and videos of them, their fucking wedding invitations, etc. just… to think you know someone to find out, I didn’t know him *at all*. I think my trust issues are gonna be way out of wack now.
And how did he get away with it? I checked his insta, he finally posted a picture of them together, and she had sent me hers and she was now allowed to post pictures of them the day after it all happened(when she first sent me hers insta, all the photos with him, his face was covered with emojis. So wtf did he tell her that she felt she had to hide him?)
Idk y’all, this really threw me for a loop. I’m guessing she made some sort of ultimatum, I just… couldn’t imagine wanting to stay with someone who could be that intrinsically deceitful, he actively not only *cheated* on basically two people, but was actively in the middle of trying to *start* a double fucking life.
And I feel frustrated with her. Like I’m not angry at her for her position at all, she was treated like shit by him. But I’m frustrated that he could do that to her and she decided to stay. And here he is, getting away with this completely clean. I never thought I’d meet such a fucking conniving person in my life, like it’s something you see on tv shows or in movies, or you hear about it on relationship subreddits- but to experience first hand? Just wow.
Edit: oh yeah and what’s funny to me is that when he confessed his love for me, he brought up that “I know you think I’m a fuck boy and I was, but Ive changed”. Loool all the while still being a fuckboy