My best friend of 15+ years and I have been going through a rough patch for over a year now. We used to be extremely close, but ever since she got into her current relationship, things have changed a lot between us. She became distant, and despite me trying multiple times to make plans, she would usually cancel often saying her boyfriend is an introvert or doesn’t like going out. Even on the rare occasions plans were made, they would often get cancelled last minute.
I’ll admit I never really liked her boyfriend from the beginning, but not for no reason. Ever since she got with him, I noticed she became more anxious, less confident, and emotionally distant. It genuinely felt like she changed as a person. On top of that, he never made any effort to get to know me despite me being such an important part of her life. I have only met him twice, yet somehow he became the center of everything while I, someone who is practically family to her, slowly got pushed away. It honestly doesn’t make sense to me.
At one point, he even unfollowed me, which only made me feel like they were talking negatively about me behind my back, and that she didn’t care enough to address it. I’m not trying to seek attention or make this about myself, but it hurts seeing that she doesn’t care or respect me enough to acknowledge that her boyfriend clearly does not respect me either.
Despite all of this, I still tried my best to maintain our friendship. We went from seeing each other at least three times a week to barely once a month. Over time, constantly being the one trying started affecting me mentally. I began questioning whether our friendship meant the same thing to her anymore, and it hurt realizing how easily things seemed to fall apart.
On top of that, I also had to tolerate her staying in contact with my toxic ex-boyfriend someone who caused me one of the biggest traumas of my life. She only knew him because of me, yet she continued being friends with him despite knowing how deeply he hurt me.
Eventually, I decided to stop reaching out and focus on my own mental health because the situation became emotionally exhausting. Cutting her off was not easy for me at all, but the moment I finally stepped back, she suddenly noticed. Now she constantly texts and calls me, sometimes sending 10 messages a day, guilt-tripping me for not replying. What should I do?
( there are many more instances where she made me feel very neglected but it would make this post very long )