I (40 something female) and my husband (50 something male) have been together over 20 years (details vague for privacy). My husband has hypertension and diabetes that has came with age, but overall, healthy. We have never had issues major issues in the bedroom until the past few months. He is now experiencing some ED and refuses to speak to his doctor about it. Instead, he has bought some random meds online and other "devices" that might help, but have proven to be ineffective. I have been supportive and have encouraged him to speak with his doctor and get prescribed medications that actually work for ED. He thinks what he bought online was the legit meds (I have my doubts) and since they didn't work, there is no point in discussing.
Our last discussion, he told me that sex is pretty much over in our relationship and that I need to find another man to fulfill that need. He has said this before and I blew it off as him being upset and just talking, but this time felt final. This has left me feeling frustrated, angry, and sad. He has made a decision for himself that affects me without discussing it with me. I'm supposed to be celibate the rest of my life? Because finding another man is not an option, that's cheating. And if I'm going to do that, that means we're getting a divorce. But all I'm hearing is that I'm not worth the effort to try to work through this. For him to get over his embarrassment and speak with his doctor so we can continue to have this intimacy that marriages typically have. Am I wrong to expect him to want to fix this? I'm so mad that he has given up on sex, me, us, all of it.