I (26/m/germany) want to ask about opinions on my situation.
I came from a pretty rough family and unfortunately alcoholism and depression runs in the family.
In 2021 i broke up with my ex and in that year all of me broke down, i got diagnosed with depression and dysthymia. Rough patch of my life. Now over the years i tried to get out, be productive and achieve stuff. I did my Bachelors degree, i started a habit of working out, changing my eating habits and often made attempts to fix my sleep schedule, safe to say my body is pretty healthy (bloodwork is superb). I had several friend groups and socialized throughout the years.
But here is the catch: in the past 2 years despite all of this i started hating my life and the world even more than before all of that improvement.
I am now constantly (daily/weekly) switching between hating the world and every human and kind of being contempt with it.
The worst part of it is really all of the hate i have towards people and i don't find a way out of it. It's like every new experience i make fits perfectly into this hateful worldview.
I had dates which led to nothing or humiliated me, i had female best friends all of which i deeply cared for but nobody seems to care about me. I tell my female "best friend" that i hate myself or my life and she would never talk to me about it. I rarely talk about it because i don't wanna be an emotional burden but... just today i told her i went to the doctor because of my mental health, got my blood tested and the only thing she had to say was "Huh great news that your blood is alright" before leaving the room.
Thing is that nobody seems to give two shits. My mom (highly depressed) usually makes the situation worse when i tell her, i rarely see my dad (he is also unavailable since he is in a clinic for alcohol abuse).
I seriously doubt that i will ever get better. It just seems like everything i've done in the past couple of years led me to a worse state than before.
PS:
I have an appointment for a psychiatrist on 27th of May.