hi! To give some context, my husband & I(23F) are newly married & are living together for the first time. He also recently joined the military & we of course have been moved to the base he’s at now while he continues his training (already went through OCS).
I have the privilege of not having had to scramble for a new job once moving since I work remotely. I work 50-60+ hours a week M-F & have long nights a decent amount of the time. Before moving out here I had lived at home & as I’m sure you all know, taking care of yourself while living at home is MUCH easier than caring for yourself and another person.
I’m struggling to adjust to taking on all of the household responsibilities, shopping, cooking etc while working all those hours. I’m addition, I can’t really do many chores during the weekend bc my husband wants to spend time together and gets upset if I eat into our time together by doing chores. So he actively stops me from doing them on the weekends (cooking not included bc we still need to eat lol).
He wants me to have all the housework, shopping, cooking etc done before he gets home since I work from home. This has been causing me to run around all morning & while I work to try to get everything done. Because of this I have been prioritizing everything else & have had no time for me. I don’t watch TV, I don’t read, I don’t do any of my hobbies, I make it to the gym maybe once or twice when I normally would go 5 times a weeks, I don’t take a lunch break while working, I only work, do housework & am out on the weekends enjoying my husband while dreading all the incomplete things at home and the upcoming work week.
How do working military spouses adjust to meet the needs of our partners?? I know he is wiped out when he gets home & and he just wants to spend time with me. But this isn’t sustainable and I need to have some time to take care of myself. Note, I am more than happy to support him in the ways he needs as he is studying and taking on this new lifestyle, it’s just a matter of figuring out how to keep both of us happy.
Please give me some advice with balancing schedules or making systems while being a working military spouse😭🫶🏻 also, we don’t have kids rn so I’m not spending time parenting🙏🏻