now ex boyfriend of 8 months did something horrible.
My ex boyfriend and i recently have gone through a breakup, to be honest we breakup all the time but i think this one is probably the last one. We have a ON AND OFF relationship, tbh i never been in an on and off situation before so idk how normal it is but we would’ve breakup every week then by the weekend get back together. Well he started doing this thing where he would leave me and say the most awful things, then would call me on the weekend while he’s out at a party and beg me to drive about an hour down to come see him and stay over, then i would always go down and make sure he was okay and since we don’t see each other a lot we would have sex (i mean i missed him and spent the whole week crying of course i wanted to show him that). well after a while of this happening it got to a point where we would ONLY be together for the weekend and then during the week he would breakup with me and this cycle would just repeat. well this most recent time we got into a SUPER RANDOM fight and he just decided one day he didn’t want to be with me anymore. i did say some things that i definitely shouldn’t have and that’s on me and i mean so did he, well you guessed it the weekend came and i got that phone call. i went down but this time i decided i wanted to talk to him, he told me he was sorry and i said i was sorry…we had a super long talk about everything and eventually went back to what we always do. well unlike before this time he just broke up with me the next morning randomly and basically said fuck me. i went home and he told me he needed space so i gave him space for a few days and then eventually reached out again, he proceeded to tell me he didn’t mean anything he said and he was “just drunk”. He essentially points out the fact he was pretty much just using me for my body. I feel so dumb yk, i mean the beginning it wasn’t like this at all, idek how i fell into this situation to begin with, i missed him and felt like him calling me out was just because he missed me too, not because he just saw me as a easy one night stand. i feel so used! and just overall i feel manipulated asfk! this was the first boy i think i ever truly loved, and the fact he would do this to me instead of just leaving me is insane!! and worst of all it seems like he doesn’t feel any type of remorse, but i sit at home and just feel so shitty for some of the things i’ve done, sometimes i can’t even sleep at night. this has to be one of the most cruel things a guy has ever done to me, and i truthfully think this has distorted my sense of self as well as the way i view love and just people in general. i just don’t understand how someone could do this to a person, and i don’t understand why that person had to be me. im probably never having sex again ever in my life, i feel so disgusting and just worthless now. idk, i never been in this situation and idk how to process it all.