Boyfriend (24) pulling away and angry?
A little bit of context first: my boyfriend (24) and I (26) have known each other for a couple years now. We met online and were basically fuck buddies for a majority of the time I’ve known him. About 7 months ago he asked me out and we dated ever since.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. Two months ago, I made a mistake of breaking up with him with the intention of giving us both the space and time to refocus and see if a relationship is possible because of my personal struggles with my own mental health. I felt like I couldn’t be 100% authentic with him about my own struggles and didn’t have the tools to cope with that.. We got back together after that about a week later and have been dating ever since. We got back together because he reminded me the reasons why he loves me and how I don’t need to be perfect to be in a relationship, I just have to try. Things have been moving in a better direction (or so I thought) . Last night he told me about some insecurities he was having within himself in a relationship, and basically told me that he was mad that I broke up with him initially, and because of that it exacerbated some insecurities he had about the relationship. (Am I good enough? What is wrong with me? Etc).
Additionally, he talked about his tendency to avoid me sometimes and tend to overthink and get anxious when I’m near him. He told me that although he wants me to sleep in his bed with him , he’s just not used to it and it also makes sleep not the best for him.
He also said that he noticed that because of this relationship, he’s changed himself in a way that he doesn’t like such as reducing his femininity and sacrificing his sexual preferences somewhat. When I asked him about what it’s going to take to rebuild his trust and security in a relationship, and he didn’t have an answer. Also, when I asked him if he still willing to make the choice to be in a relationship, he said” I think so. “
I’m mad and frustrated at the situation because I like to be solution oriented and prefer action steps instead of leaving things the way they are. I understand that I hurt him and there’s nothing that I can do to change the past. The only thing I can do is look toward the future, but, I’m being somewhat punished for my past. Ever since our conversation about this, he’s been noticeably taking longer to respond even when I know he’s on his phone.
What do I do? I feel confused and conflicted about my feelings. Ever since that chat, things have been kinda dry between us. I don’t know what to do. All insight is helpful!