Edit to add details:
(Everything below has already been discussed with wife and she did not think I was in the wrong and I even told her the part about me not really wanting a fmf just the option but I told her not to agree to it unless she was comfortable with it even if a possibility I never try and redeem the option. The only thing I have not discussed with her is dropping the fmf ultimatum.)
My wife has been listening to dirty books about gangbangs or threesomes. She is interested in mfm threesome. I have stated that I am open to it and told her that while some limits would need to be put in place it is a fantasy to see her having sex with another guy. I told her I would not be open unless she was ok with the possibility of fmf she said she would be more interested in it if the girl focused on her but she thinks she would get jealous if I had sexual interaction with the girl and is not interested. Honestly I don’t have that much interest in having sex with another girl and would be more interested in ether option that focused on my wife. I think it more bothers me that she gets the option and I do not. But honestly I don’t know if I would ever take it even if it was an option for me to have sex with another girl threesome or not. Should I drop it and get my real fantasy or should I hold to my ultimatum. What would you do? If she doesn’t like the idea of me having sex with another girl during a threesome but I’m just saying it to keep my options open but I have no interest in it kinda makes me feel like I’m loosing out on one fantasy for something that I don’t actually care about. Also keeping my wife from achieving a fantasy.
I’m male 34 wife 33 married for 10 years but dating since 15 so we are each others first and only experience sex wise. I have explained to her these would be one time experiences if we followed through with it. I think while I would be a little jealous 19 years of loyalty one agreed upon exception I can not let eat me up.