My roommate of a little over a year struggles with what I believe is bulimia. I haven’t directly confronted her about it, but I’ve noticed signs over time, starting with finding small spots of vomit very frequently on the sink/toilet. I have tried to just give her privacy and not make her feel uncomfortable.
The only time I’ve brought anything up was once when there was vomit left in the bathroom and I asked if she was okay, she said she had eaten something bad and brushed it off.
Lately, its gotten worse. She has been keeping her shelves in the cupboards almost completely empty, never really buying groceries. My food has been going missing more often, usually overnight, and it’s gotten to the point where my groceries are being taken pretty regularly and not replaced. From reading through some of the posts here, I completely understand that bingeing is hard to control, and I really don’t want to shame her or make things worse. I’ve asked her before to check with me before taking things, but it hasn’t really changed anything
At the same time, I can’t really afford to keep replacing my food, and I’m not sure how to handle this in a way that’s both compassionate and fair. I’ve asked her before to check with me before taking things, but it hasn’t changed much.
Lately I have also had to clean up shared spaces more than I’d expect, and I’m trying to be understanding, but it’s starting to wear on me. For example, I find that the bathroom isn't fully cleaned up after being used almost on a daily basis, or that my face towel had been used and left dirty. I don’t think any of this is intentional, and I try to remind myself she may not be in the headspace to think about it in the moment, but it’s been difficult to manage over time.
I’m wondering what the best way to approach this is. Should I keep my food separately (use lockboxes or keep in my room), or is there a better way to set boundaries without making her feel ashamed? I also don’t really know how (or if) I should be offering support.
I struggle with confrontation in general, and the idea of directly asking her about it feels impossible, I worry about making things worse or triggering her.