Emotionally unavailable or different love languages? [28F] and [27M]
TL;DR - I need advice on my relationship. I have been with my current partner for several years and we are engaged. He is hardworking with good morals, and I respect and love him very much, however I feel that he is becoming more emotionally unavailable. A lot of it has been work stress and he says that my criticism is the source, but the emotional distance has been there. He has never validated me, and now recently I also initiate the physical affection. Are our love languages too misaligned, is he truly emotionally unavailable, is he no longer into me, or all of the above? He’s a very logical person, and values acts of service.
Examples of the emotional unavailability are 1) Him going to sleep peacefully in the middle of argument, and processing most disagreements with anger, 2) Ignoring bids for communication (he asked me not to speak about my culture anymore because I’ve pressured him too much to learn some words in my native language), 3) Keeping me pretty accountable for my transgressions (like taking his hairbrush or forgetting something) but never acknowledging his role in my unfulfilled needs, 4) Almost keeping tabs on the favors he does for me (I am working on doing more acts of services that he likes like massages), 3) Little to no words of affirmation- the most I get is a „you look good” when I dress up but never got a „you look beautiful”, and 4) All physical affection the last two months has been initiated by me- apparently me talking about my needs is making it worse. At one point he told me that if I dressed up more, it would be easier (Ive been told I am conventionally attractive). To be fair I’ve asked him to do his hair before and such, but I put a baseline level of effort and this hurt.