After a long and exhausting journey kholing and peaking at the same time (mind you I had a trip sitter) I drew these 2 trying to interpret some of what I saw/felt on the journey :) wanted to share with you lads
As a child till my teens I always got amazing sleep actually could easily drift off anywhere anytime. As I started to near 17 I developed social anxiety disorder and after a few events PTSD. This led to me unfortunately abusing things like cannabis, alcohol, opiates to sleep. This cycle went on for years further worsening my sleep till I was 23, then I decided to quit and have been sober now for 3 years! Thankfully I’ve held true to my word after all the destruction it’s caused, but the insomnia is now worse than ever. I’ve done plenty of work internally to be where I am now and while my PTSD and depression is in remission with the help of psychedelic therapy I still suffer mildly with anxious throughts daily. I’ve tried everything from meditation, to yoga, to medications. I’m currently on Zoloft.
As for sleeping medications I’ve trialed trazadone, mirtazapine and doxepin. All of which barely affect me enough to really get deep sleep. I have another appointment coming up in a week to discuss further options, she spoke of stuff like seroquel and z-drugs being last resort options.
I just don’t know what to do, I’ve tried melatonin, unisom, even obscure stuff like Muscimol GABAA agonist found in Amanita mushrooms I was so desperate for sleep even then maybe 3 hours on a given night. I’m just barely dragging through my days and constantly feel prickly skin, I’m irritable and very fatigued. If anyone has any insight or just someone to talk to I’d very much appreciate it! Take care💙
Id like to think im somewhat attractive, tall, more of an introvert but have plenty of hobbies and friends and goals in life, but i seem to be going nowhere with OLD and it’s gotten progressively worse it seems since the start of 2026. Every date ive had ive been misled by their profiles with people ending up later telling me they’d rather just go for something short term or them not being ready for commitment. Im very much stable and looking for something long term, preferably leading to marriage but not absolutely necessary right away ya know? I haven’t really approached anyone in public ever but im curious for those that have and/or do it regularly how do i go about starting? Sorry if this is formatted quite strange lol