I have a girlfriend with whom I've been in an on-and-off relationship for almost two years (we break up and get back together several times). The problem is that, to be completely honest, I’ve never truly felt anything real for her.
There is another girl I actually like: I could list a thousand things I love about her. But regarding my girlfriend... I can hardly say anything. She’s not my type, we have no common interests, and our conversations are empty.
Even so, every time we break up, something strange happens to me: I end up seeking her out and begging her to come back, without really understanding why. Recently, I decided to distance myself because I wasn't feeling anything anymore, but when she stopped talking to me out of anger, I felt a horrible desperation, as if I couldn't handle her not responding to me. It got to the point where I started messaging her from other accounts and numbers just to get her to talk to me.
I don’t understand why this happens to me if, deep down, I know I'm not in love. At one point, I decided to ask our mutual friends about it, and they told me they knew she had cast some kind of sp3ll on me and that she renews it whenever I pull away to ensure she keeps me. What can I do to break this?