Long story short... I was pregnant, had a miscarriage, and was "laid off" the day I returned. I didn't tell them I was pregnant but the timing is too much of a coincidence to ignore. This company has never done lay offs and, even for blatant performance issues, they have a progressive disciplinary process they always follow before they fire anyone. I had a crystal clear record and this came out of nowhere. My gut is telling me that something is off about this. I was the only person let go.

Anyways, they have a self-funded plan. I'm thinking that the company knew I was pregnant and, for one reason or another, cut me loose because of it. Maybe my costs were too high? Maybe they were worried about a future pregnancy causing a disruption? Maybe they saw my miscarriage labeled as an "abortion" (medical term) and didn't like that?

Per the TPA's website, employers have a portal where they can...

• "Look up enrolled members to confirm coverage status, track deductible/out-of-pocket progress, view specific claim details, request new ID cards, and more."
• "Search by claim to view information such as services received, provider charges, and what the health plan covered. You can also download the member’s Explanation of Benefits (EOB) for additional detail."

So I know that at least one person at the company has the ability to view claims in detail through this portal. Of course, they're not supposed to use that information to make employment decisions but I'm sure it happens anyways. It's a VERY small company.

I'm assuming that the TPA has to document PHI access for HIPAA reasons. From what I was able to gather, I'm not entitled to these logs but I really want to get my hands on them to see if anyone at the company was peeking into my claims and when. It's highly likely that the person/people who have access to the TPA are the same people who decided to lay me off.

I realize that this is a niche question but does anyone have any advice? Should I try reaching out to the TPA to see if they'd be willing to give me this info? Or is this information generally very guarded and I would need a court order?

A few weeks ago, I told my manager that I was interested in exploring other opportunities at the company. Specifically, a new sales department that was just created. However, I made it very clear that I'm not in a rush and am open to exploring other paths outside of sales as well. They asked about a timeline and I said that maybe sometime around the new year however that I am happy to stay put the company's needs first and stay in this role as long as they needed me to. This was put in writing, twice.

My manager seemed excited and happy to support me, really enthusiastic about getting the ball rolling. We planned to regroup in June when the sales department finished a job description they were working on that I could consider. So there was an open position coming up that they were already encouraging me to apply for and we had a firm date to follow up on the matter. There was absolutely NO indication that this request was a problem. Internal transfers are extremely common and even encouraged at this company. I felt 100% safe having this discussion. I have four years of glowing reviews and not a single disciplinary action, not even a verbal warning.

After two years of infertility, I finally got pregnant a couple months ago! I didn't tell my company yet because it was early and I didn't want to hurt my chances of securing a transfer.

Unfortunately, I was at a routine OB appointment last week and was told that our baby had died and I needed a d&c. I notified my manager right away that I’d be out for at least three days. I didn't tell her that it was a miscarriage, I wasn't sure if I wanted them to know that I was trying to start a family yet. I didn’t have access to my work laptop, and Slack is the only company app on my phone, so I updated my status there.

I returned to work less than 24 hours after my d&c and was met with a nasty compliance email from HR outlining the policies I violated while I was away. 1) I didn't properly update my Slack status while I was gone (I did but it expired before I got back) and 2) I didn't log my sick time in the HR software before taking the time off. Also, they asked for a doctor's note, which is fine. I expected that. However, the tone and timing of the email was harsh and disciplinary. Truthfully, it was really upsetting to come back to that after having just been through a difficult situation. Nothing from my manager. I ran this by a few family members with director/HR experience and they all warned me that it was a bad omen, that it sounded like they were trying to start a documentation trail to fire me.

I responded with the requested doctor’s note from my obstetrician and provided a few more details about my absence. That I experienced a devastating medical emergency, was in the hospital, and needed surgery. To be transparent, I didn't say "I had a miscarriage" but with the note's letterhead and additional context I made it very clear that this was a pregnancy related emergency.

I also let them know that I was disappointed in how my return was handled. I’m a manager and felt like, from a leadership perspective, it was appropriate to share this feedback because a situation like this can cause real harm and impact employee morale. I assumed that it would ruffle HR's feathers but it wasn't a nuke, truly. I kept it very professional.

Anyways, they did lay me the next day. They said it's because I'm not committed to my current role as a manager because I told them that I "no longer wished to continue in my current capacity as a manager" by asking about a transfer and, since they have nowhere else to put me, that I'm being laid off. My boss delivered the news but, based on her lack of composure, I have a feeling that someone else made this decision.

I'm shocked, I just can't believe that they would really do this. That's NOT what I said! And my manager was encouraging me to apply for the sales role. In all my years here one has ever been fired for asking to transfer. I'm in absolute shock. I know that work isn't your friend but this is such a drastic departure from company procedure and culture that I cannot wrap my head around it.

From an HR/business perspective... I'm just trying to understand why. As a manager myself, it doesn't make any sense.

Did they really think that the transfer request meant I had one foot out the door? If so, why wouldn't they have at least touched base with me to discuss further?

Was my feedback to HR received so poorly that they had to fire me on the spot?

Has my healthcare gotten too expensive? We have a self funded plan and I know that my care has approached $1m over the last few years.

Are they concerned that my ongoing health issues and future pregnancies will cause disruptions? Wouldn't that be illegal?

.

I was a working mom. Unfortunately, not anymore. But I hope that I am still welcome here.

After two years of infertility, I finally got pregnant a couple months ago! I didn't tell my company yet because it was early and I was hoping for an internal transfer, didn't want to hurt my chances.

A few weeks ago, I told my manager that I was interested in exploring other opportunities at the company. Specifically, a new sales department that was just created. However, I made it very clear that I'm not in a rush and am open to exploring other paths outside of sales as well. They asked about a timeline and I said that maybe sometime around the new year however that I am happy to stay put the company's needs first and stay in this role as long as they needed me to. This was put in writing, twice.

My manager seemed excited and happy to support me, really enthusiastic about getting the ball rolling. We planned to regroup in June when the sales department finished a job description they were working on that I could consider. So there was an open position coming up that they were already encouraging me to apply for and we had a firm date to follow up on the matter. There was absolutely NO indication that this request was a problem. Internal transfers are extremely common and even encouraged at this company. I felt 100% safe having this discussion. I have four years of glowing reviews and not a single disciplinary action, not even a verbal warning.

Unfortunately, I was at a routine OB appointment last week and was told that our baby had died and I needed a d&c. I notified my manager right away that I’d be out for at least three days. I didn't tell her that it was a miscarriage, I wasn't sure if I wanted them to know that I was trying to start a family. I didn’t have access to my work laptop, and Slack is the only company app on my phone, so I updated my status there using one of the preset options we’ve been told to use.

I returned to work less than 24 hours after my d&c and was met with a nasty compliance email from HR outlining the policies I violated while I was away. 1) I didn't properly update my Slack status while I was gone (it expired) and 2) I didn't log my sick time in the HR software before taking the time off. Also, they asked for a doctor's note, which is fine. I expected that. However, the tone and timing of the email was harsh and disciplinary. Truthfully, it was really upsetting to come back to that after having just been through a difficult situation. Nothing from my manager.

I responded with the requested doctor’s note from my obstetrician and provided a few more details about my absence. That I experienced a devastating medical emergency, was in the hospital, and needed surgery. To be transparent, I didn't say "I had a miscarriage" but with the note's letterhead and additional context I made it very clear that this was a pregnancy related emergency.

I also professionally let them know that I was disappointed in how my return was handled. I’m a manager and felt like, from a leadership perspective, it was appropriate to share this feedback because a situation like this can cause real harm and impact employee morale. I assumed that it would ruffle HR's feathers but it wasn't a nuke, truly. I kept it very professional.

Anyways, they fired me the next day. They said it's because I'm not committed to my current role as a manager because I told them that I "no longer wished to continue in my current capacity as a manager" by asking about a transfer and, since they have nowhere else to put me, that I'm being laid off. My boss delivered the news but, based on her lack of composure, I have a feeling that someone else made this decision.

I'm shocked, I just can't believe that they would really do this. That's NOT what I said! And my manager was encouraging me to apply for the sales role.

It's a small company and I've worked closely with these people for years. It's so out of character for all of them, I genuinely can't imagine them signing off on this but they did. I just don't understand why. Has my healthcare gotten to expensive (we have a self funded plan)? Are they concerned that my ongoing health issues and future pregnancies will cause disruptions? Did they really think that the transfer request meant I had one foot out the door? Was my feedback to HR received so poorly that they had to fire me on the spot?

To be honest, I'm also very hurt. I reported to work less than 24 hours after my d&c. Cramping, bleeding, wearing a diaper.. and then they look me in the eye and tell me that I'm not committed.

Everyone I've talked to is encouraging me to file suit. I've reached out to a few firms, a couple are interested but skeptical and one is enthusiastically on board. It's so overwhelming. This is not how I thought my first pregnancy would end up.

I just needed to get this off my chest. Being a working woman/mom is so so hard.

About two weeks ago, I let my manager know that I wasn't thriving in my current role and was interested in exploring other opportunities at the company. Specifically, a new sales department that was just created. However, I made it very clear that I'm not in a rush and am open to exploring other paths outside of sales as well. My manager was excited and happy to support me, really enthusiastic about getting the ball rolling. That situation was left open ended to be discussed again at the beginning of June when the sales department finished a job description they were working on. There was no indication that this request was a problem. Internal transfers are extremely common and encouraged at this company.

Anyways, I've been pregnant since March. The company didn't know yet. This past Thursday afternoon, while at an OB appointment, I was told that my baby died and that I would need surgery to remove the pregnancy. That was scheduled for Tuesday so I messaged my boss saying that I would need to take three sick days, sorry for the short notice, and she approved the time off. I updated my Slack status and unplugged from work. I did not have my laptop or access to any other company systems at the time, I was in the hospital getting additional testing to confirm that the pregnancy was not viable.

I returned to work (I'm fully remote) on Wednesday morning and was met with a nasty compliance email from HR outlining the policies I violated while I was away. 1) I didn't properly update my Slack status and 2) I didn't log my sick time in the HR software before taking the time off. Also, they asked for a doctor's note which is fine I expected that. However, the tone and timing of the email was harsh and disciplinary. Truthfully, it was really upsetting to come back to that after having just been through a devastating loss. Apparently my Slack status expired while I was gone which was an honest mistake. And how was I supposed to log in sick time on my laptop when I wasn't at home? I communicated with my boss as soon as I could and she approved the time.

Anyways, I responded with the requested note and professionally but firmly let them know that I was disappointed in

his will be long so I apologize in advance.

About two weeks ago, I let my manager know that I wasn't thriving in my current role and was interested in exploring other opportunities at the company. Specifically, a new sales department that was just created. However, I made it very clear that I'm not in a rush and am open to exploring other paths outside of sales as well. They asked about a timeline and I said that maybe sometime around the new year however that I am happy to stay put for however long that the company needs me in this role.

My manager was excited and happy to support me, really enthusiastic about getting the ball rolling. We planned to regroup in June when the sales department finished a job description they were working on that I could consider. So there is, or was, an open position coming up that they were encouraging me to apply for. There was absolutely NO indication that this request was a problem. Internal transfers are extremely common and even encouraged at this company. I have a crystal clear record with no disciplinary actions and four years of glowing reviews.

Anyways, I've been pregnant since March. The company did not know yet. However, they know that I’ve been dealing with pregnancy-related health issues (endometriosis) because I requested accommodations under the PWFA last July after two big surgeries. We also have a self funded healthcare plan. Not sure if they have access to any claim information but I know that my healthcare over the past two years has approached $1m. So… I’m clearly a financial liability. 

This past Thursday afternoon, while at an OB appointment, I was told that my baby died and that I would need surgery to remove the pregnancy. That was scheduled for Tuesday so I messaged my boss saying that I would need to take three sick days, sorry for the short notice, and she approved the time off. I updated my Slack status and unplugged from work. I did not have my laptop or access to any other company systems at the time, I was in the hospital getting additional testing to confirm that the pregnancy was not viable.

I returned to work (I'm fully remote) on Wednesday morning and was met with a nasty compliance email from HR outlining the policies I violated while I was away. 1) I didn't properly update my Slack status while I was gone and 2) I didn't log my sick time in the HR software before taking the time off. Also, they asked for a doctor's note, which is fine. I expected that. I provided the note from my obstetrician, told them that I had a devastating medical emergency that required a hospital visit and surgery. To be transparent, I didn't explicitly say that I had a miscarriage but I made it obvious that it was a pregnancy-related health emergency.

Anyways, they fired me today. They said it's because I'm not committed to my current role as a manager because I asked for a transfer. My boss delivered the news but I know that this wasn't her decision. She was absolutely distraught and in tears.

I think they really let me go because my medical care was costing them too much money and that this is just a cover. Especially now that they know that I was pregnant/trying to have a baby, they knew that I was going to cost even more if I was successful.

Everyone I know is pushing me to consider filing an EEOC claim for pregnancy discrimination. I just don't know what to do.

Location: Pennsylvania, remote, company located in Missouri, less than 50 employees

This will be long so I apologize in advance.

About two weeks ago, I let my manager know that I wasn't thriving in my current role and was interested in exploring other opportunities at the company. Specifically, a new sales department that was just created. However, I made it very clear that I'm not in a rush and am open to exploring other paths outside of sales as well. They asked about a timeline and I said that maybe sometime around the new year however that I am happy to stay put for however long that the company needs me in this role.

My manager was excited and happy to support me, really enthusiastic about getting the ball rolling. We planned to regroup in June when the sales department finished a job description they were working on that I could consider. So there is, or was, an open position coming up that they were encouraging me to apply for. There was absolutely NO indication that this request was a problem. Internal transfers are extremely common and even encouraged at this company. I have a crystal clear record with no disciplinary actions and four years of glowing reviews.

Anyways, I've been pregnant since March. The company did not know yet. However, they know that I’ve been dealing with pregnancy-related health issues (endometriosis) because I requested accommodations under the PWFA last July after two big surgeries. We also have a self funded healthcare plan. Not sure if they have access to any claim information but I know that my healthcare over the past two years has approached $1m. So… I’m clearly a financial liability. 

This past Thursday afternoon, while at an OB appointment, I was told that my baby died and that I would need surgery to remove the pregnancy. That was scheduled for Tuesday so I messaged my boss saying that I would need to take three sick days, sorry for the short notice, and she approved the time off. I updated my Slack status and unplugged from work. I did not have my laptop or access to any other company systems at the time, I was in the hospital getting additional testing to confirm that the pregnancy was not viable.

I returned to work (I'm fully remote) on Wednesday morning and was met with a nasty compliance email from HR outlining the policies I violated while I was away. 1) I didn't properly update my Slack status while I was gone and 2) I didn't log my sick time in the HR software before taking the time off. Also, they asked for a doctor's note, which is fine. I expected that. However, the tone and timing of the email was harsh and disciplinary. Truthfully, it was really upsetting to come back to that after having just been through a difficult situation.

Anyways, yesterday I responded with the requested doctor’s note from my obstetrician and provided a few more details about my absence. That I experienced a devastating medical emergency, was in the hospital, and needed surgery. To be transparent, I didn't say "I had a miscarriage" but with the note's letterhead and additional context I made it very clear that this was a pregnancy related emergency.

I also professionally let them know that I was disappointed in how my return was handled. I’m a manager and felt like, from a leadership perspective, it was appropriate to share this feedback because a situation like this can cause real harm and impact employee morale. Apparently my Slack status expired while I was gone which was an honest mistake. Can they really expect sick employees to check their status daily? Also, how was I supposed to log in sick time on my laptop when I was in the hospital? My boss was informed and approved the time off, is that not enough until I got back? I shared all of this and closed by saying that I hope that there’s room for a more compassionate approach next time. I assumed it would ruffle HR's feathers but it wasn't a nuke, truly. I kept it very professional.

Anyways, they fired me today. They said it's because I'm not committed to my current role as a manager.

From the termination letter: 

>This decision follows your recent communication expressing that you no longer wish to continue in your current capacity as a Manager. After careful consideration, COMPANY has determined that it is unable to maintain your current position in a non-managerial capacity, nor is there a suitable alternative role available that aligns with our current operational needs and staffing structure. Consequently, we are moving forward with the separation of your employment.

My boss delivered the news but I know that this wasn't her decision. She was absolutely distraught and in tears.

I think they let me go because my medical care was costing them too much money and that this is just a cover. Especially now that they know that I was pregnant/trying to have a baby, they knew that I was going to cost even more if I was successful.

Everyone I know is pushing me to consider filing an EEOC claim for pregnancy discrimination. I just don't know what to do.

Do I have a case for any kind of pregnancy discrimination? This just doesn't feel like a coincidence. They're celebrating my interest in the new department until I use sick time for a pregnancy-related condition and then they fire me the very next day?

Basically the title. Our org is too small for FMLA. Missouri doesn't mandate any kind of medical leave. We offer 6 weeks paid parental leave after the birth of a child and 5 days bereavement leave for the loss of a living child. Oh, and employees get 10 sick days front loaded annually. PTO is "untracked" (unlimited) but requires approval at least one week in advance, so not accessible in an emergency.

Does your company offer separate leave for pregnancy loss specifically? How much?

I got fired.

Trigger warning, pregnancy loss.

I’m trying to sanity check a situation at work and would really appreciate outside perspectives before I completely lose my shit on HR today. We're a small company with 30 employees and one HR person.

I just used three sick days due to a sudden and devastating miscarriage. It was completely unplanned (obviously), and I notified my manager right away that I’d be out for at least three days. I didn’t have access to my work laptop, and Slack is the only company app on my phone, so I updated my status there using one of the preset options we’ve been told to use.

I returned to a pretty cold email from HR basically reminding me of company policies:

• I should have logged my sick time in the HR system before leaving work
• My Slack status wasn’t set correctly (the preset "Out Sick" status available on mobile expires after 24 hours, which I didn’t know)
• Because I was out 3+ days, I need to provide medical documentation (this part I kinda understand) although she said it's to protect others in case I'm contagious. I'm fully remote and, again, had a miscarriage but whatever.

What bothered me wasn’t the policies themselves I get that those exist. It was the tone and expectations. The email felt cold and nasty and didn’t acknowledge that this was an emergency situation where I realistically couldn’t plan ahead or handle admin tasks before leaving.

Also, the expectation that I should have somehow logged into our HR system while actively at the hospital being told that my baby died feels… out of touch?

For additional context, this company/HR person specifically talks A LOT about caring for employee wellbeing, but I’ve personally had a few experiences over the years where this employee is nasty and cold when it comes to health/sick time off, and I’ve had similar issues when my own direct reports were going through medical issues.

One time she told me that I had to write up someone for using their allotted sick time for the year. We get 10 days and they used 10 days (spread out in 1-2 day increments, completely within policy), then she tried to tell me that they used too much and that it's inappropriate so they deserve a write up. I refused, of course.

I’m not trying to overreact, but this whole whole thing left such bad taste like process matter more than people. This was my first day back and I was honestly feeling ok until I saw this email and had a complete meltdown. As a leader, it's gotten to a point where I simply cannot tolerate this treatment of not only myself but my staff as well. I'm temped to call her out harshly.

Am I being too sensitive here or does this feel as off to others as it does to me?

They fired me today.

Trigger warning, pregnancy loss.

I’m trying to sanity check a situation at work and would really appreciate outside perspectives before I completely lose my shit.

I just used three sick days due to a sudden and devastating miscarriage. It was completely unplanned (obviously), and I notified my manager right away that I’d be out for at least three days. I didn’t have access to my work laptop, and Slack is the only company app on my phone, so I updated my status there using one of the preset options we’ve been told to use.

I returned to a pretty cold email from HR basically reminding me of company policies:

• I should have logged my sick time in the HR system before leaving work
• My Slack status wasn’t set correctly (the preset "Out Sick" status available on mobile expires after 24 hours, which I didn’t know)
• Because I was out 3+ days, I need to provide medical documentation (this part I kinda understand) although she said it's to protect others in case I'm contagious. I'm fully remote and, again, had a miscarriage but whatever.

What bothered me wasn’t the policies themselves I get that those exist. It was the tone and expectations. The email felt cold and nasty, which is on brand for this person in particular, and didn’t acknowledge that this was an emergency situation where I realistically couldn’t plan ahead or handle admin tasks before leaving.

Also, the expectation that I should have somehow logged into our HR system while actively at the hospital being told that my baby died feels… out of touch? I found out the news on Thursday afternoon and didn't have my procedure until yesterday, so I was in a terrible state of mind all weekend knowing that I was walking around with my dead baby inside of me. Sorry for the graphic description, but I feel like it's important to explain what this situation is really like when you're going through it.

For additional context, this company talks A LOT about caring for employee wellbeing, but I’ve personally had a few experiences over the years where our HR person felt very cold and rigid when it comes to health/sick time off, and I’ve heard similar complaints from coworkers.

I’m not trying to overreact, but the whole thing left a bad taste like process mattered more than people in that moment. This was my first day back and I was honestly feeling ok until I saw this email and had a complete meltdown.

Am I being too sensitive here, or does this feel as off to others as it does to me?

Edit: I just want to say thank you for all the outpour of love. This little corner of the internet has been so kind. I wanted to add a little more detail and provide an update!

A lot of people asked if I told my company that I had a miscarriage specifically, I did not. I was really hoping to keep that private because it's really personal AND I'm trying to get a promotion/transfer. So don't want my pregnancy status to affect my chances.

Part of what bothered me about this situation so much is that HR was reprimanding me like I willfully neglected to follow their policies. Instead of assuming that something was actually wrong, they assumed that I was abusing the policy, when I've never given them a reason to not trust me. Neither HR or my boss sought to understand or showed an ounce of concern or empathy upon my return. This email from HR was the only communication I received from anyone. I didn't expect HR to read my mind and know exactly what happened but I did expect them to lead with trust, curiosity, and empathy instead of coming right at my throat.

However, I did respond to them (cced my boss) yesterday with the doctor's note and explained the situation in enough detail that they should be able to connect the dots without me having to put it in writing. The note's letterhead indicates that my doctor is an obstetrician, so it's pretty obvious. I was professional but very firm and direct. I explained how I was in the hospital due to a devastating medical emergency and couldn't monitor administrative tasks from the hospital, that I did set my Slack status but company's preset option automatically expired, and that I notified my manager as soon as I could. I wrapped up by saying that receiving a policy-focused message immediately upon return from a devastating situation feels misaligned with the company's stated commitment to employee wellbeing and, while I understand the importance of company policy, her message's tone and timing was inappropriate. I followed up and filed some feedback directly with our leadership team as well. No response yet.