i want to die by next month
sorry i’m new to commenting on reddit but, i’m a 20yo M and i want to end my life by probably next month.
idk when exactly and i’m sorry for sounding like i’m seeking attention or anything, i genuinely just dont know what to do or if anyone ever felt this way.
i dont want to give up yet but at the same time i do. adulting just doesn’t seem like it for me and i know i should just wake up to reality and do what i need to do and be who i need to be, but, the thought of working everyday for the rest of my life and dealing with conflicts and all the sad things life has to offer and just being apart of this system doesn’t sit right with me and too much to handle, i wanna just not be trouble to anyone and let life move on without me.
i know there are supposed to be good moments in life to look forward to but i feel like i just cant fit in with this society.
i have a graveyard part time job but all i do is stay at home playing games on my pc and mindlessly scrolling on my phone. i went to college for a few semesters but ended up failing and skipping my classes so now i feel stuck and like i already threw my life away.
my parents have expectations of me to graduate but now idk what to do.
i’ve failed so much in college already and i’m planning on dropping out on august i just dont know how to tell my parents and how to proceed with everything now in life, i think they would kick me out once i tell them and idk what i would do after. so idk what to do, the best option js seems like dying.
I hate how I feel like a bum and have no use or belonging right now because I see no passion in life anymore. I just want to end my life so i wont be a burden to those around me financially. i still live with my mother and i hate to have her deal with me being a loser in life. but at the same time im also scared of her having to deal w the sadness of her own kid dying.
sorry theres a lot of filler in this and idk if im even easy to understand i just feel like im spiraling right now.