AITAH for not telling my grandmother that her mother died?
On Mobile so I apologize for formatting. All names and ages are changed for anonymity.
I (27NB) have to give a bit of backstory for this to even kind of make sense. I don't speak w my mother and hardly speak to my grandmother. Both of them have been narcissistic and manipulative people who have gotten away with abuse for most of my life.
My grandmother used me as more or less a cashcow when I was trying to leave my ex husband, offering her rental for 1.6k a month, way above what I could afford on my own but I didn't have much of a choice due to circumstances. I won't get into too much detail about that but what stood out is how she treated my niece (10) and nephew(8), constantly putting them down and judging their friends, activities, making it out to seem like my sister (31) was a bad mother, ect ect. I'm fiercely protective of my sister, she was one of the only ones in my family that didn't treat love as a transaction. All of this exploded sometime earlier this year and we haven't had contact w my grandmother since.
Ok on to the actual issue. My great grandmother(GG) passed away earlier this last week. I did not know her tho my sister did. She found out through our great aunt, who took care of GG, late at night. We knew roughly within the 1st 24hrs. What we didn't know was that no one told our grandmother(G). G hated her and would often times speak spitefully of her, never anything good to say so it was easy to say that they just didn't have a relationship either.
My aunt, G's daughter, found out roughly in the same timespan. When she found out we knew and hadn't told G, she went off on us. Telling us we were petty and secretive and malicious. It was a huge mess that ended with my older sister in tears.
Through all of this, a big thing that was at play was this is all on Mother's Day. So yesterday from the time of posting.
My sister wasn't going to tell G on mother's Day that her mother died. Regardless of relationships, that seemed like a tactless and insensitive thing to do. I also didn't say anything because a) I didn't know GG and b) I don't have a relationship with G.
My partner reassured us and stated that it wasn't even our place to tell G as both the grandkids and because there were multiple people much closer to G and GG both in age and in relationship that should be the ones to tell her.
At this point I don't know if what we did was right. So AITA?