AITAH for telling my boyfriend I’m leaving because he’s smoking🍃?
I (23F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for over a year now. Initially, we established boundaries and rules within our relationship that we chose not to violate. However, it appears that I’m the only one who consistently adheres to these boundaries.
Throughout my life, I’ve never been much of a smoker. Perhaps I’ve smoked once or twice, maybe even three times. I’ve experimented with vaping pens or bongs, but my boyfriend has been a pothead for several years. When we first got together, I expressed my disinterest in smoking because I’ve always dealt with drunk and addicted individuals. I never pressured him to stop smoking for me or make him do anything. He chose to quit smoking on his own and surprised me with his decision.
Over time, I became more open to the idea of smoking, and we encountered a minor dilemma that caused my boyfriend stress. In response, I offered to buy him his first weed in the summer of last year. Everything seemed fine until now.
I’ve communicated my preference for him to smoke with me or his friends in the house, rather than asking for advances or smoking at work or parties. I’ve emphasized the importance of choosing a safe and comfortable environment for smoking. He agreed to these guidelines.
Fast forward to today, while I was playing on his phone, I noticed a text message and decided to snoop, not expecting to find anything incriminating. To my surprise, I discovered messages of him purchasing pens from his friends, requesting advances, and smoking in the bathroom at work. I confronted him about these messages, but he insisted that he doesn’t smoke at work. When I presented the screenshots I had taken, he became silent. Instead of admitting his wrongdoing, he began making excuses about feeling uncomfortable discussing smoking at work and purchasing items from his friends, ultimately resorting to lying.
I had let him know that I can no longer be with him because this isn’t the first time he has lied and disregarded our boundaries, or at least mine.
AITAH? Any advice?