Husbands who pay for all the expenses, does your income flow into a joint account or into your own, separate account?
My fiancee and I agreed that I should pay for all expenses (rent, food, hygiene, health, etc), but we reached a deadlock when deciding which account my income should go into to.
I think it should go into my account and that I would pay off all the expenses. She thinks it should go into the shared account and for us to decide together how best to distribute it.
I guess i feel a bit uneasy giving up so much control over my finances, especially when I'm paying for everything. I worry that our understanding of what is "reasonable" may be different (e.g. I may think that $2500/month in rent is fair while she may want to push to $3000). I'd be more comfortable setting a budget for every expense type (like 30% towards rent, ~25% towards food, and so on) so that I can retain control over how much I invest and put aside. If its my sole responsibility to pay for expenses, then it should be the limits that I set.
I recognize that retaining full control over how my income is distributed excludes her from decision making. I'm trying to assure her that I would only act in our best interest and would not simply do the bare minimum to put more towards my investment. I think I just feel an inherent unfairness in fully financially exposing myself to this degree while she gets to retain her working income to herself (like I'm giving her access to everything and not getting the same treatment back). I would've preferred a joint account approach where we contribute equally to our shared goals--moving together as one unit without distinguishing between "hers" and "mine", its just all ours. But she insisted on this more traditional financial split (which I know is the more popular approach on this subreddit).
I'm sure I'm not seeing the full picture here, and I am open to changing my mind. Any input or feedback would be appreciated.
EDIT: Clarifying that we both already agree that whatever is left over after the expenses are paid would be transferred into my personal account. So I still retain a private account to use at my discretion. My main concern is this: why should every bonus I get, every salary bump, lead to a conversation with her about how best to spend that money? As long as I am meeting my obligations by providing for my family (rent, food, clothing,...) then whatever's left should stay in my account to use how I see fit (I will still always do what I think is best for my family). She, conversely, will always have her full salary in her own account to use freely.